What to do about Christening & Schooling?

[FSM]

Hi everyone
First post.
Just wanted to find some like minded people to talk to about this stuff.

My wife and I are expecting our first baby mid next year.
I'm a card carrying shirt wearing atheist and my wife is a "token" Catholic.
i.e. never go to church, never mentions it, and religion plays no part in her life apart from the usual token events where she withers and conforms. No problem, that's probably the majority of "religious" people today.
Her family are all token catholics too.

The problem is we got into a bit of an argument the other day over what primary school our kid should go to. She wants him/her to go to the same Catholic school she went too, which just happens to the closest to our house.
Her argument is that it's the most caring and loving school, and it's close, so there is no argument.

I on the other hand detest the idea of my kid going to a Catholic school.

She is totally open to the idea of High School simply being whatever is best technically, so I think I'm fairly assured of a win there. (She went to an all girls Catholic high school)

And this also brings up the question of the christening. Although we have not talked about it, I just know she is going to want it. Because it's a pathway into the primary school she wants, and all of her catholic school girl friends got their umpteen kids christened too. So she would probably be massively embarrassed to have a "name giving" ceremony instead.

Naturally I detest the idea of a christening too, and my thought at the moment is a perhaps childish boycott !
Although I did relent and got married in a Catholic church because that's what she wanted. I bit my tongue and endured it. Ironically, it was church associated with the primary school around the corner (getting the picture? :->).

But the wedding was some time ago now, and I wasn't as ardent an atheist as I am these days. And I can bite my tongue if it's just me has has to endure something, but this my be MY (or one half) my kid. And I want to be raised as an atheist with reasoning.

Am I worrying too much? is a Catholic primary school that bad? i.e. they are going to be taught about Santa Claus and the toothy fairy!
Should I lose this battle to ultimately win the war come High School, or should I dig my heals in?

Has anyone been in a similar situation and won? (or lost?)
Any advice?

Thanks
Dave.

[Coryate]

I suspect the best thing about sending the children to Catholic school is the extra time you have to spend together so you can explin the good bits, and the rubbish bits

My son was never christened, and if my wife had ever insisted on it, I would have said fine, on the condition he wears something with the FSM on it. (I'm not kidding).

[Fearless]

Hello FSM (Dave),

Welcome to the forums There are a number of people here in mixed relationships with similar situations. Hang about. I am sure you will find plenty of people here will have some good advice as this has been discussed a bit in the past. Try having a poke around with the search feature also. I am sure something will come up.

Someone did joke to me a while back that if you want your child to be put off by religion send them to a catlick school, otherwise send them somewhere else.

I don't personally have anything to add sorry except that my wife and her sister went to a catholic school and neither are really that bothered with religion now, especially not my wife.

I think family might tend to play a bigger role in this but each situation is different based on the individual. You could send your child to a public school and still find they end up becoming religious. I think it is more about challenging your child to think rationally and critically and letting them make up their own mind.

As for catholic schools... no way I will be giving them money personally, but that's just me.

All the best, hope you enjoy your time here

F.
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[hooa]

I chose a Catholic School for my children .. 1: Because it was a small nurturing environment and 2: How can they make an informed decision about religion unless they understand it, feel it and see it ...

I saw it as another lesson, just like English and Math ... Knowledge is power .. Remember that ..

Today i was looking through my daughters school books ...Grade 5 ... I was particularly interested in the RE excersise book ... This is a sample of some of what she has written about ...

Respect: Always Listen ... Dont Litter ... Be friendly to others ...Dont steal other peoples property ... Dont talk over other people ... Care for and have respect for animals ... She writes about Peace and how much she loves her brother .... She writes about her rights and that she has the right to choose her own way of life ...

There is nothing harmful in these lessons ...

Even some of the prayers to God are fine because she knows that these things are just beliefs ... I really dont believe that Catholic Schools indoctrinate our children ... Its the parent who reinforce religious doctrines that cause the harm ...

My son is 18 and I believe that his knowledge and decision to be an informed and outspoken atheist was bolstered by his attending a Catholic School ... My children know that there is no creator God and they know where to place those beliefs.

I see absolutely no problem sending children to Catholic Schools ... View it as another lesson in world views for them ..

All The Best

[Flyingphil172]

Show her some media reports/statistics on how many children have been abused by Catholic staff.

[ABridgeTooFar]

I'm against any school that only accepts people from one part of society, for example those that have been christened. Its much better for kids to go to an open school and mix in with everyone from all different parts of society. They can also learn about all other religions there.

But i guess it depends on where you live. In some parts of this country i would admit going to a christian school would be more appealing than a public school (in dodgy areas). Its really a matter of weighing up everything and making an informed decision for the kid. Rather than anyone saying "He/She is going to a christian school regardless".

The christening thing seems tough. I guess there are a lot of people who are expecting it to go ahead. Not sure what to do

[hooa]

Originally Posted by Flyingphil172

Show her some media reports/statistics on how many children have been abused by Catholic staff.

Thats absolutely ridiculous ... Why would you do that? ... Would you show her statistics of how many fathers sexually abuse their own children? ... C'mon ... This is fear mongering and completely unreasonable...

[Sir Patrick Crocodile]

Welcome, fellow Sydneysider!

I probably wouldn't recommend a Catholic primary school (if you like I can PM my [rather vintage-ish] experience with these religious schools) but I do think hooa makes a point about exposing them to other religions. Personally though, I'm a little skeptical on their methods on handling bullying (perhaps Annie could provide some info about this because she is a teacher) and have had enough problems with dealing with the religious majority.

Perhaps you should explain to your wife that just because she believe something is right, does not mean it is right, and it definitely doesn't mean she should instill the same beliefs in her child. Bring on the "You never even follow the whole religion of yours; you never even go to church" for example.

Not sure I can say much more than this; however having been to no less than two religious schools (one Adventist school and the other a Christian school [can't remember which denomination]) my experiences has been nothing worthy of praise.

[hooa]

Originally Posted by ABridgeTooFar

I'm against any school that only accepts people from one part of society, for example those that have been christened. Its much better for kids to go to an open school and mix in with everyone from all different parts of society. They can also learn about all other religions there.

But i guess it depends on where you live. In some parts of this country i would admit going to a christian school would be more appealing than a public school (in dodgy areas). Its really a matter of weighing up everything and making an informed decision for the kid. Rather than anyone saying "He/She is going to a christian school regardless".

The christening thing seems tough. I guess there are a lot of people who are expecting it to go ahead. Not sure what to do

Catholic Schools have to accept 10% non-denominational enrolments ... Also ... they have to accept the siblings ... My children were part of that 10%

[Sieveboy]

Welcome Dave
I think your child will be safe from harmful woo from such a Catlick school if you take an active part in raising the young child. By this I mean understand what they teach the child and then feed back and reinforce the good (maths, English etc) and do not reinforce the bad (a self parenting jewish zombie died to save me from the lies he created).

Having a positive parent in this place will prevent the child filling in a gap in their teachers (as a parent you are the no 1 teacher) with an imaginary friend.

Thats my thoughts and what I will do down the track with my children.

Cheers