Deciding to be undecided.

[Ayla]

I have decided to be undecided...
You see, I'm finding it easier to think I'm entirely alone now.
Is finding it easier to feel entirely alone with nobosy to rely on or turn to a good thing? :S

[Ayla]

My mind fucked itself, it goes from believing to not so I'l just say "Undecided" when that question is asked.
Right now I feel, "I'm absolutely fucking alone there's fucking nobody who is ever there for me"

But before it was "It'll all be ok... it's going to be fine... there's something there and I know it"

It's been switching from these two for a week or two...

[Fearless]

Originally Posted by Ayla

I have decided to be undecided...

Undecided on what exactly sorry? Don't want to jump to conclusions.

Originally Posted by Ayla

You see, I'm finding it easier to think I'm entirely alone now.

Ok, I am not sure if that is a good thing or a bad thing really... depends on the circumstances and whether you really want to be alone or not. Maybe you need to not pressure yourself at this time and let life take its course... no point putting unnecessary pressure on yourself.

Originally Posted by Ayla

Is finding it easier to feel entirely alone with nobosy to rely on or turn to a good thing? :S

I'd generally say no, but only really you will be able to find that out for yourself.

Care to expand a little on what you are talking about?

[Ayla]

Originally Posted by Fearless

Undecided on what exactly sorry? Don't want to jump to conclusions.

Ok, I am not sure if that is a good thing or a bad thing really... depends on the circumstances and whether you really want to be alone or not. Maybe you need to not pressure yourself at this time and let life take its course... no point putting unnecessary pressure on yourself.


I'd generally say no, but only really you will be able to find that out for yourself.

Care to expand a little on what you are talking about?

Undecided on religion, as this IS Fantasy Island

I swing from, "I hate people, I don't wanna see them" to "I need to get out of this fucking house and go see people! I don't care who!".

I'm more talking about, I go from believing to not believing. No concern to an Atheist though haha. Basically, things fucked themselves, and I waver from finding comfort in religion to finding comfort in absolutely nothing and becoming considerably bitter.

[robertkd]

Originally Posted by Ayla

My mind fucked itself, it goes from believing to not so I'l just say "Undecided" when that question is asked.
Right now I feel, "I'm absolutely fucking alone there's fucking nobody who is ever there for me"

But before it was "It'll all be ok... it's going to be fine... there's something there and I know it"

It's been switching from these two for a week or two...

Oh dear believing is a state of mind, a comfort blanket and the harsh reality sure comfort in believing but, no there is know one out there for you, to quote "no personal jesus" (aka Marilyn Manson ) for me it's not a case of there has to be something but there is nothing therefore we need to make the best of our situation. The reality is indeed all will be ok but not in a "happily for ever after" sense.

[Fearless]

Do you feel it is necessary to make that sort of decision at this time of your life? Maybe you are just not ready to decide just yet. I am sure you have enough on your plate anyway. I'd like to think you could take your time on such things, especially if you are not sure.

Try not to put too much pressure on yourself, and don't let others pressure you either.

Just try to enjoy being young for now (in my opinion), religion confuses enough as it is.

Take your time, you have plenty of it left

[Ayla]

Originally Posted by robertkd

Oh dear believing is a state of mind, a comfort blanket and the harsh reality sure comfort in believing but, no there is know one out there for you, to quote "no personal jesus" (aka Marilyn Manson ) for me it's not a case of there has to be something but there is nothing therefore we need to make the best of our situation. The reality is indeed all will be ok but not in a "happily for ever after" sense.

I meant, not noone is out there, noone is here either, so therefore I kinda needed the thing being out there belief...

But I know it'll be ok but it doesn't feel like it...

Originally Posted by Fearless

Do you feel it is necessary to make that sort of decision at this time of your life? Maybe you are just not ready to decide just yet. I am sure you have enough on your plate anyway. I'd like to think you could take your time on such things, especially if you are not sure.

Try not to put too much pressure on yourself, and don't let others pressure you either.

Just try to enjoy being young for now (in my opinion), religion confuses enough as it is.

Take your time, you have plenty of it left

I do feel it necessary as in, if I feel there's noone here, feeling there is somebody/something out there is a great comfort, there are rules I CHOSE to follow to keep me in line.

And I don't neccessarilty have much time left... I could get hit by a car tomorrow, an axe murderer could enter my house, etc. Which is what pisses me off 'cos I'm doing nothing with my life :P

[Fearless]

It is a challenge to be sure for some people. But that's life isn't it? Full of challenges and decisions.

I hope you can come to some sort of resolve soon.

All the best, I'm sure you'll work it out in time

[Loki]

Originally Posted by Ayla

"I'm absolutely fucking alone there's fucking nobody who is ever there for me"

Talking only about majical sky daddies and mummies, I suppose the pat atheist answer would be "there never was before, and you got by okay then, now your're just cutting out the middle man and taking responsibility for what were always your own decisions anyway."

Have some respect for your own sense of right and wrong, feel good about it, and as several others have said, don't push it. Let it go where it will, don't stop thinking by any means but enjoy the ride.

Frankly, if you end up going back to theism you've still thought about it more than many ever will.

I doubt there are many ex-theists who chose to be atheist. Once it becomes obvious the supernatural doesn't stack up you really don't have a choice. It takes time though for theist thinking to get out of the system and it pops up when you least need or expect it, don't rush things.

And there is nothing wrong with deciding to be undecided, it's an honest position.

[robertkd]

Originally Posted by Ayla

I meant, not noone is out there, noone is here either, so therefore I kinda needed the thing being out there belief...

But I know it'll be ok but it doesn't feel like it...



I do feel it necessary as in, if I feel there's noone here, feeling there is somebody/something out there is a great comfort, there are rules I CHOSE to follow to keep me in line.

And I don't neccessarilty have much time left... I could get hit by a car tomorrow, an axe murderer could enter my house, etc. Which is what pisses me off 'cos I'm doing nothing with my life :P

Oh sorry but sure only you can keep yourself "in line" so to speak, I mean you are totally responsible for you and sure all the above things are possible but in reality are they probable?