The Big, Steaming Pile Of Kent Hovind: All Hovind, All The Time

[davo]

Well I came across a great post by some awesome folk over at dawkins forums (you may need a log in to see it so posting again here). In deference to their efforts, I would like to propose we take on the scale system on these forums for scaling creationist arguments.

Alltruism made an calculator. Here it is for your ease of use.

Hovind Factor = (X + s + i + p) x (m + 1)

where:
Belief in scripture - “X”
0 - No doctrinal belief required
1 - Metaphorical use of Biblical/Qu’ranic quotation
2 - Belief in scripture as the infallible word of God. Timeless, inerrant and absolute. (AiG/The flud etc.)
Scientific Illiteracy - “s”
0 - Full understanding of detailed, advanced scientific principles
1 - Overall grasp of principles with some understanding of specific area being discussed
2 - Vague understanding of general principle but with poor grasp of many details
3 - No understanding or knowledge of area being discussed
4 - Rejection of basic scientific facts/laws/robust theories and/or denial of any evidence that contradicts scripture
5 - Ray Comfort (Extreme, moronic and puerile level of 4 above)
The idiocy scale - “i”
0 - no discernible stupidity
1 - slightly silly, but understandable
2 - foolish
3 - daft
4 - rather funny in a slightly worrying sort of way
5 - very funny in a very worrying way
6 - scary stuff
7 - very scary
8 - unlikely to be accepted by anyone with more than two functioning neurons
9 - Moronic. Stark-bollock-naked, off-the-wall, wing-nut
10 - Kirk Cameron or VenomFangX
Paradox - “p”
0 = Statement is logical and self-consistent
1 = Statement acknowledges slight flaw in internal logic but glosses over it with babble.
2 = Statement relies on an assumed divine intervention to explain self contradiction.
3 = Self contradiction invalidates statement completely, and is left unaddressed.
and
Mendacity - “m”
0 - Total honesty
1 - Statement maker knows they are telling enough of a porkie to try to mislead a generally credulous audience
2 - Statement maker knows they are lying enough to try to mislead an educated audience, or they are repeating a lie that they have previously been corrected on.
3 - Whopper! Including Plagiarism, or fabrication of their own “facts” to cover woeful lack of knowledge.
4 - Complete, burn-in-Hell, perjury grade, super-lie – Including deliberate attempts to confuse with incoherently applied high level concepts. Chewbacca Defence.
Using this formula, a completely honest statement of scientific merit would score a Hovind Factor of zero.
The maximum Hovind Factor, HFmax, is a completely insane statement which contradicts all scientific evidence but adheres totally to religious doctrine and which the person making the claim knows to be untrue - while at the same time the statement also completely contradicts itself - would score (2 + 5 + 10 + 3) x (4 + 1) = 100.

Nothing like promoting a scientific standard.

Could we sticky this maybe?

[_RAAF_Stupot]

This is what passes for an academic paper in the minds of the religiously hopeful:

http://wikileaks.org/wiki/Young-eart...l_dissertation

[Sir Patrick Crocodile]

I wonder if this is what a "thesis" for the Patriot Bible University comprises of. It doesn't seem to have much "academic lingo" that I would expect from even a high school textbook, let alone a thesis.

[Atrax Robustus]

FFS!

Now it is absolutely clear why this piece of academic trivia was kept out of the public arena for so long! (Lots of 'interested' researchers have been trying to get their hands on this for years!)

THIS is what he used to claim the 'PhD' he flaunts to his misinformed readers? He's in jail for fraud - looking at this . . . he's in the right place!

This is fucking pathetic - and I'm only up to page 14!

[Atrax Robustus]

SHIT! He's right!

The idea that evolutionists try to get across today is that there is a continual upward progression. They claim that everything is getting better, improving, all by itself as if there is an inner-drive toward more perfection and order. This is totally opposite of[sic]the first and second law of thermodynamics. It goes against all scientific evidence that has been accumulated. Yet, this lie is what many men believe today. We don't see it happening anywhere in our universe today. We don't see any evidence of this in the fossil record.

All you have to do is close your eyes real tight, stick your fingers in your ears and go "lahlahlahlahlah" loudly . . .

[Sir Patrick Crocodile]

This guy can't even calculate how much water is needed to form a thin film of it around the earth.

Unless I'm the ignorant one and a drop of water is actually equal to 150 000 000 litres of water.

[Atrax Robustus]

Don't try too hard Croc!

This is nothing more than a hard copy litany of all the shit that you read on the creo/ID websites.

So far (I'm up to page 74) I haven't seen one statement that hasn't been thoroughly debunked by at least four or five books/sites/YouTube vids . . .

I reckon this little gem is going to be given some air-time by some of the presenters at the GAC - PC Myers is likely to have a ball with it over coming days.

I've got a draft of my Information Theory honours thesis here - perhaps if I C&P some scripture here and there and add a conclusion like:

See? DNA must be an intelligently designed blueprint.

. . . I could submit it to the same meritorious establishment and reasonably expect to receive a PhD as well - it's not like they're going to check the veracity of the equations or anything after all . . .

[Sir Patrick Crocodile]

That actually makes me wonder if there are any atheists posing as Christians studying at that university. Not that they want to be Christian or anything but they are probably there for the lulz.

Have a look at this course from the School of Evangelism & Missions for example:

General Bible (GB 101 required) 8 courses
Old Testament 10 courses
New Testament 10 courses
Christian Education (CE 111, 431 required) 4 courses
Pastoral Ministries 2 courses
Church Ministries 3 courses
Christian Counseling 4 courses
Evangelism and Missions 6 courses
Character Studies 4 courses
Science (SC 208 required) 2 courses
Social Studies (SS 351 & 415 or 425 required) 4 courses
English (choose from any category) 2 courses
Electives 5 courses

[Atrax Robustus]

I've also heard that some 'uni' in the US of A is offering a course delivered by Bill Dembski where undergrad students are given credits if they are able to post something like 15 posts defending creo/ID bullshit on 'evolutionist' websites

[Sir Patrick Crocodile]

Well I've posted the video about the ray comfort banana at least once on this forum a long time ago.

I'm sure and according to my calculations I should qualify:

• 1 picture = 1000 words
• The video about the ray comfort banana is estimated to be over 66.6 seconds long.
• Most video is captured at a rate of around 30fps
• 30fps × 66.6s = 1998 frames. Rounded up to 2000 frames for clarity.
• 2000 frames = 2000 pictures × 1000 words = 2 MILLION WORDS
• This forum is limited to 10 000 characters per post.
• Assuming each word is 10 characters long, that means that 10 000 / 10 = 1000 words per post
• 2 MILLION WORDS / 1000 words per post = 2000 posts

And since I can cite it, it ain't plagiarism. And besides, it ain't plagiarism if it's in the name of the lord.