Finally I can make sense of it -

AngryAtheist · #1 11th May 2010, 07:16 PM

[1] In fe beginning Elmer Fudd created fe heawen and fe earf.
[2] And fe earf was wifout form, and woid; and darkness was upon fe face of fe deep. And fe Spirit of Elmer Fudd mowed upon fe face of fe waters.
[3] And Elmer Fudd said, Let fere be light: and fere was light.
[4] And Elmer Fudd saw fe light, fat it was good: and Elmer Fudd diwided fe light from fe darkness.
[5] And Elmer Fudd called fe light Day, and fe darkness he called Night. And fe ewening and fe morning were fe first day.
[6] And Elmer Fudd said, Let fere be a firmament in fe midst of fe waters, and let it diwide fe waters from fe waters.
[7] And Elmer Fudd made fe firmament, and diwided fe waters which were under fe firmament from fe waters which were abowe fe firmament: and it was so.
[8] And Elmer Fudd called fe firmament Heawen. And fe ewening and fe morning were fe second day.
[9] And Elmer Fudd said, Let fe waters under fe heawen be gafered togefer unto one place, and let fe dry land appear: and it was so.
[10] And Elmer Fudd called fe dry land Earf; and fe gafering togefer of fe waters called he Seas: and Elmer Fudd saw fat it was good.
[11] And Elmer Fudd said, Let fe earf bring forf grass, fe herb yielding seed, and fe fruit tree yielding fruit after his kind, whose seed is in itself, upon fe earf: and it was so.
[12] And fe earf brought forf grass, and herb yielding seed after his kind, and fe tree yielding fruit, whose seed was in itself, after his kind: and Elmer Fudd saw fat it was good.
[13] And fe ewening and fe morning were fe fird day.
[14] And Elmer Fudd said, Let fere be lights in fe firmament of fe heawen to diwide fe day from fe night; and let fem be for signs, and for seasons, and for days, and years:
[15] And let fem be for lights in fe firmament of fe heawen to giwe light upon fe earf: and it was so.
[16] And Elmer Fudd made two great lights; fe greater light to rule fe day, and fe lesser light to rule fe night: he made fe stars also.
[17] And Elmer Fudd set fem in fe firmament of fe heawen to giwe light upon fe earf,
[18] And to rule ower fe day and ower fe night, and to diwide fe light from fe darkness: and Elmer Fudd saw fat it was good.
[19] And fe ewening and fe morning were fe fourf day.
[20] And Elmer Fudd said, Let fe waters bring forf abundantly fe mowing creature fat haf life, and fowl fat may fly abowe fe earf in fe open firmament of heawen.
[21] And Elmer Fudd created great whales, and ewery liwing creature fat mowef, which fe waters brought forf abundantly, after feir kind, and ewery winged fowl after his kind: and Elmer Fudd saw fat it was good.
[22] And Elmer Fudd blessed fem, saying, Be fruitful, and multiply, and fill fe waters in fe seas, and let fowl multiply in fe earf.
[23] And fe ewening and fe morning were fe fiff day.
[24] And Elmer Fudd said, Let fe earf bring forf fe liwing creature after his kind, cattle, and creeping fing, and beast of fe earf after his kind: and it was so.
[25] And Elmer Fudd made fe beast of fe earf after his kind, and cattle after feir kind, and ewery fing fat creepef upon fe earf after his kind: and Elmer Fudd saw fat it was good.
[26] And Elmer Fudd said, Let us make man in our image, after our likeness: and let fem hawe dominion ower fe fish of fe sea, and ower fe fowl of fe air, and ower fe cattle, and ower all fe earf, and ower ewery creeping fing fat creepef upon fe earf.
[27] So Elmer Fudd created man in his own image, in fe image of Elmer Fudd created he him; male and female created he fem.
[28] And Elmer Fudd blessed fem, and Elmer Fudd said unto fem, Be fruitful, and multiply, and replenish fe earf, and subdue it: and hawe dominion ower fe fish of fe sea, and ower fe fowl of fe air, and ower ewery liwing fing fat mowef upon fe earf.
[29] And Elmer Fudd said, Behold, I hawe giwen you ewery herb bearing seed, which is upon fe face of all fe earf, and ewery tree, in fe which is fe fruit of a tree yielding seed; to you it shall be for meat.
[30] And to ewery beast of fe earf, and to ewery fowl of fe air, and to ewery fing fat creepef upon fe earf, wherein fere is life, I hawe giwen ewery green herb for meat: and it was so.
[31] And Elmer Fudd saw ewery fing fat he had made, and, behold, it was wery good. And fe ewening and fe morning were fe sixf day.
Gen.2

[1] Fus fe heawens and fe earf were finished, and all fe host of fem.
[2] And on fe sewenf day Elmer Fudd ended his work which he had made; and he rested on fe sewenf day from all his work which he had made.
[3] And Elmer Fudd blessed fe sewenf day, and sanctified it: because fat in it he had rested from all his work which Elmer Fudd created and made.
[4] Fese are fe generations of fe heawens and of fe earf when fey were created, in fe day fat fe BIG BOSS Elmer Fudd made fe earf and fe heawens,
[5] And ewery plant of fe field before it was in fe earf, and ewery herb of fe field before it grew: for fe BIG BOSS Elmer Fudd had not caused it to rain upon fe earf, and fere was not a man to till fe ground.
[6] But fere went up a mist from fe earf, and watered fe whole face of fe ground.
[7] And fe BIG BOSS Elmer Fudd formed man of fe dust of fe ground, and breafed into his nostrils fe breaf of life; and man became a liwing soul.
[8] And fe BIG BOSS Elmer Fudd planted a garden eastward in Eden; and fere he put fe man whom he had formed.
[9] And out of fe ground made fe BIG BOSS Elmer Fudd to grow ewery tree fat is pleasant to fe sight, and good for food; fe tree of life also in fe midst of fe garden, and fe tree of knowledge of good and ewil.
[10] And a riwer went out of Eden to water fe garden; and from fence it was parted, and became into four heads.
[11] Fe name of fe first is Pison: fat is it which compassef fe whole land of Hawilah, where fere is gold;
[12] And fe gold of fat land is good: fere is bdellium and fe onyx stone.
[13] And fe name of fe second riwer is Gihon: fe same is it fat compassef fe whole land of Efiopia.
[14] And fe name of fe fird riwer is Hiddekel: fat is it which goef toward fe east of Assyria. And fe fourf riwer is Euphrates.
[15] And fe BIG BOSS Elmer Fudd took fe man, and put him into fe garden of Eden to dress it and to keep it.
[16] And fe BIG BOSS Elmer Fudd commanded fe man, saying, Of ewery tree of fe garden fou mayest freely eat:
[17] But of fe tree of fe knowledge of good and ewil, fou shalt not eat of it: for in fe day fat fou eatest fereof fou shalt surely die.
[18] And fe BIG BOSS Elmer Fudd said, It is not good fat fe man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him.
[19] And out of fe ground fe BIG BOSS Elmer Fudd formed ewery beast of fe field, and ewery fowl of fe air; and brought fem unto Yosemity Sam to see what he would call fem: and whatsoewer Yosemity Sam called ewery liwing creature, fat was fe name fereof.
[20] And Yosemity Sam gawe names to all cattle, and to fe fowl of fe air, and to ewery beast of fe field; but for Yosemity Sam fere was not found an help meet for him.
[21] And fe BIG BOSS Elmer Fudd caused a deep sleep to fall upon Yosemity Sam and he slept: and he took one of his ribs, and closed up fe flesh instead fereof;
[22] And fe rib, which fe BIG BOSS Elmer Fudd had taken from man, made he a Jessica Wabbit, and brought her unto fe man.

AngryAtheist · #2 11th May 2010, 07:17 PM

[23] And Yosemity Sam said, Ya Darn Varmits Fis is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh: she shall be called Jessica Wabbit, because she was taken out of Yosemity Sam.
[24] Ferefore shall a Yosemity Sam leawe his fafer and his mofer, and shall cleawe unto his wife: and fey shall be one flesh.
[25] And fey were bof naked, fe Yosemity Sam and his wife, and were not ashamed.
Gen.3

[1] Now fe serpent was more subtil fan any beast of fe field which fe BIG BOSS Elmer Fudd had made. And he said unto fe woYosemity Sam, Yea, haf Elmer Fudd said, Ye shall not eat of ewery tree of fe garden?
[2] And fe woYosemity Sam said unto fe serpent, We may eat of fe fruit of fe trees of fe garden:
[3] But of fe fruit of fe tree which is in fe midst of fe garden, Elmer Fudd haf said, Ye shall not eat of it, neifer shall ye touch it, lest ye die.
[4] And fe serpent said unto fe woYosemity Sam, Ye shall not surely die:
[5] For Elmer Fudd dof know fat in fe day ye eat fereof, fen your eyes shall be opened, and ye shall be as Elmer Fudds, knowing good and ewil.
[6] And when fe woYosemity Sam saw fat fe tree was good for food, and fat it was pleasant to fe eyes, and a tree to be desired to make one wise, she took of fe fruit fereof, and did eat, and gawe also unto her husband wif her; and he did eat.
[7] And fe eyes of fem bof were opened, and fey knew fat fey were naked; and fey sewed fig leawes togefer, and made femselwes aprons.
[8] And fey heard fe woice of fe BIG BOSS Elmer Fudd walking in fe garden in fe cool of fe day: and Yosemity SaYosemity Samd his wife hid femselwes from fe presence of fe BIG BOSS Elmer Fudd amongst fe trees of fe garden.
[9] And fe BIG BOSS Elmer Fudd called unto Yosemity Sam, and said unto him, Where art fou?
[10] And he said, I heard fy woice in fe garden, and I was afraid, because I was naked; and I hid myself.
[11] And he said, Who told fee fat fou wast naked? Hast fou eaten of fe tree, whereof I comYosemity Samded fee fat fou shouldest not eat?
[12] And fe Yosemity Sam said, Fe woYosemity Sam whom fou gawest to be wif me, she gawe me of fe tree, and I did eat.
[13] And fe BIG BOSS Elmer Fudd said unto fe woYosemity Sam, What is fis fat fou hast done? And fe woYosemity Sam said, Fe serpent beguiled me, and I did eat.
[14] And fe BIG BOSS Elmer Fudd said unto fe serpent, Because fou hast done fis, fou art cursed abowe all cattle, and abowe ewery beast of fe field; upon fy belly shalt fou go, and dust shalt fou eat all fe days of fy life:
[15] And I will put enmity between fee and fe woYosemity Sam, and between fy seed and her seed; it shall bruise fy head, and fou shalt bruise his heel.
[16] Unto fe woYosemity Sam he said, I will greatly multiply fy sorrow and fy conception; in sorrow fou shalt bring forf children; and fy desire shall be to fy husband, and he shall rule ower fee.
[17] And unto Yosemity Samhe said, Because fou hast hearkened unto fe woice of fy wife, and hast eaten of fe tree, of which I comYosemity Samded fee, saying, Fou shalt not eat of it: cursed is fe ground for fy sake; in sorrow shalt fou eat of it all fe days of fy life;
[18] Forns also and fistles shall it bring forf to fee; and fou shalt eat fe herb of fe field;
[19] In fe sweat of fy face shalt fou eat bread, till fou return unto fe ground; for out of it wast fou taken: for dust fou art, and unto dust shalt fou return.
[20] And Yosemity Samcalled his wife's name Ewe; because she was fe mofer of all liwing.
[21] Unto Yosemity Samalso and to his wife did fe BIG BOSS Elmer Fudd make coats of skins, and clofed fem.
[22] And fe BIG BOSS Elmer Fudd said, Behold, fe Yosemity Sam is become as one of us, to know good and ewil: and now, lest he put forf his hand, and take also of fe tree of life, and eat, and liwe for ewer:
[23] Ferefore fe BIG BOSS Elmer Fudd sent him forf from fe garden of Eden, to till fe ground from whence he was taken.
[24] So he drowe out fe Yosemity Sam; and he placed at fe east of fe garden of Eden Cherubims, and a flaming sword which turned ewery way, to keep fe way of fe tree of life.
Gen.4

[1] And Yosemity Sam knew Ewe his wife; and she conceiwed, and bare Bugs Bunny, and said, I hawe gotten a Yosemity Sam from fe BIG BOSS.
[2] And she again bare his brofer Daffy Duck. And Daffy Duck was a keeper of sheep, but Bugs Bunny was a tiller of fe ground.
[3] And in process of time it came to pass, fat Bugs Bunny brought of fe fruit of fe ground an offering unto fe BIG BOSS.
[4] And Daffy Duck, he also brought of fe firstlings of his flock and of fe fat fereof. And fe BIG BOSS had respect unto Daffy Duck and to his offering:
[5] But unto Bugs Bunny and to his offering he had not respect. And Bugs Bunny was wery wrof, and his countenance fell.
[6] And fe BIG BOSS said unto Bugs Bunny, Why art fou wrof? and why is fy countenance fallen?
[7] If fou doest well, shalt fou not be accepted? and if fou doest not well, sin lief at fe door. And unto fee shall be his desire, and fou shalt rule ower him.
[8] And Bugs Bunny talked wif Daffy Duck his brofer: and it came to pass, when fey were in fe field, fat Bugs Bunny rose up against Daffy Duck his brofer, and slew him.
[9] And fe BIG BOSS said unto Bugs Bunny, Where is Daffy Duck fy brofer? And he said, I know not: Am I my brofer's keeper?
[10] And he said, What hast fou done? fe woice of fy brofer's blood crief unto me from fe ground.
[11] And now art fou cursed from fe earf, which haf opened her mouf to receiwe fy brofer's blood from fy hand;
[12] When fou tillest fe ground, it shall not henceforf yield unto fee her strengf; a fugitiwe and a wagabond shalt fou be in fe earf.
[13] And Bugs Bunny said unto fe BIG BOSS, My punishment is greater fan I can bear.
[14] Behold, fou hast driwen me out fis day from fe face of fe earf; and from fy face shall I be hid; and I shall be a fugitiwe and a wagabond in fe earf; and it shall come to pass, fat ewery one fat findef me shall slay me.
[15] And fe BIG BOSS said unto him, Ferefore whosoewer slayef Bugs Bunny, wengeance shall be taken on him sewenfold. And fe BIG BOSS set a mark upon Bugs Bunny, lest any finding him should kill him.
[16] And Bugs Bunny went out from fe presence of fe BIG BOSS, and dwelt in fe land of Nod, on fe east of Eden.
[17] And Bugs Bunny knew his wife; and she conceiwed, and bare Mickey Mouse: and he builded a city, and called fe name of fe city, after fe name of his son, Mickey Mouse.