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  #21  
Old 3rd May 2017, 06:56 PM
The Irreverent Mr Black's Avatar
The Irreverent Mr Black The Irreverent Mr Black is offline
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Default Re: Was Jesus 98.8% Chimp?

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pipbarber said View Post
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The Irreverent Mr Black said View Post
Are you harbouring a stiffy for Mary? (or, for clergy candidates, do you have ambivalent feelings about the holy infant?)
Well, i'm not sexually attracted to infants, thank god but the whole Mary saga is kind of alluring in its way.

Nah...actually, now that i think about it, and i've not really thought about it before, nah...thats some crazy fucked up shit i'd be better off not getting entangled in.

Cool, so not catholic.
Heh. I forgot to mention that eisegesis is a shitty, illogical way of proving anything, and usually involves logical gaps, fallacies, or outright lies.

Its purer sibling is exegesis, but the biblical type runs into the ol' circular reasoning trap.

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  #22  
Old 3rd May 2017, 09:06 PM
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Default Re: Was Jesus 98.8% Chimp?

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A thought experiment question for the science guys and gals here:

Was Jesus (if he existed as a human ) 98.8% chimpanzee?
If Jesus existed - as in, if there was a Yeshua around whom all the Christian bullshit accreted - then he was just as fucking human as the rest of us.

Your question makes no fucking sense, given the proclaimed intended audience. You say it's presented to the "science guys and gals here", but none of that crowd think that any Jesus who may have existed would have been sired by any version of the Christian God.

(It also fucks up how shared DNA works, but we can deal with that later.)

The first thing to deal with is that no matter how you cut it, you done screwed the math up.

I get what you're going for. I go for the funnies too. But you have to target your shit appropriately. Science guys and gals aren't your target for this joke, your target is people who think they can science whilst still being Christian. This is not the place to find that target audience, and frankly - as someone who is going to bother addressing this from the position of being scientifically literate - your use of language is inaccurate and insulting.

You keep doing this shit. I don't know why. It's as though you assume you've stumbled upon a rich vein of stupid that we've all been blind to, but you haven't bothered to fucking check.

There are reasons why no-one publishes a new version of 1984. It's been done, and done better.
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Last edited by Goldenmane; 3rd May 2017 at 09:07 PM. Reason: tags
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  #23  
Old 3rd May 2017, 09:41 PM
wadaye wadaye is offline
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Default Re: Was Jesus 98.8% Chimp?

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...it is obvious that we have evolved from apes,
We evolved from Apes, but also we are Apes. We evolved from Fish, but also we are Fish (with modifications)

Edit: I was going to say we did not evolve from Apes, we are Apes. But then i realised there is space for confusion because there was Apes back then and there's Apes now and we were Apes then and we are still Apes now. Were my grandparents Apes? You bet they were.
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Last edited by wadaye; 3rd May 2017 at 09:49 PM. Reason: It seems like Apes should be capitalised but then in that case so too should Fish
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  #24  
Old 3rd May 2017, 09:52 PM
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Default Re: Was Jesus 98.8% Chimp?

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wadaye said View Post
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...it is obvious that we have evolved from apes,
We evolved from Apes, but also we are Apes. We evolved from Fish, but also we are Fish (with modifications).
Fish 'n' Chimps, eh?

I'll get me lab coat.
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  #25  
Old 3rd May 2017, 09:53 PM
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Default Re: Was Jesus 98.8% Chimp?

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wadaye said View Post
Quote:
...it is obvious that we have evolved from apes,
We evolved from Apes, but also we are Apes. We evolved from Fish, but also we are Fish (with modifications)

Edit: I was going to say we did not evolve from Apes, we are Apes. But then i realised there is space for confusion because there was Apes back then and there's Apes now and we were Apes then and we are still Apes now. Were my grandparents Apes? You bet they were.
Yep.
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  #26  
Old 3rd May 2017, 09:53 PM
wadaye wadaye is offline
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Default Re: Was Jesus 98.8% Chimp?

I kind of also think its time to let Jesus rest in peace. I mean if the guy really existed he has been sorely over exploited but that doesn't detract from the possibility of his existence.
I prefer to talk to Christians about silly sayings attributed to him like be a eunuch if you can. (which is fully deserving of a Darwin award).
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  #27  
Old 3rd May 2017, 10:00 PM
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Default Re: Was Jesus 98.8% Chimp?

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wadaye said View Post
I kind of also think its time to let Jesus rest in peace. I mean if the guy really existed he has been sorely over exploited but that doesn't detract from the possibility of his existence.
I prefer to talk to Christians about silly sayings attributed to him like be a eunuch if you can.
I won't speak for others, but I'm quite happy to let Dead Prick Onna Stick be dead (or never-was) in complete silence, until one of the fan club, or somebody with a thought-experiment, chimes in and rattles the hypothetical bones in my face.
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  #28  
Old 3rd May 2017, 10:02 PM
Madame Tarot Madame Tarot is offline
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Default Re: Was Jesus 98.8% Chimp?

Err not sure wot is going on - but evolved from = aint no more.

A couple of thousand years = about 80 evolutionary tweaking opportunities therefore homo saps had to take a long time to evolve from apes.

So Adam ape and Eve ape were ........

Nope I can't make head nor tail of it.

I can remember reading something about DNA needing a kitchen cause DNA alone can't do nutthin'

Nope I still can't make head nor tail of it.

as PH says "Please explain!"
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  #29  
Old 3rd May 2017, 10:06 PM
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pipbarber pipbarber is offline
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Default Re: Was Jesus 98.8% Chimp?

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wadaye said View Post
I kind of also think its time to let Jesus rest in peace. I mean if the guy really existed he has been sorely over exploited but that doesn't detract from the possibility of his existence.
That's a nice sentiment Wadaye. It reminds me of a Tim minchin verse from his xmas song, white wine in the sun

...
And yes, I have all of the usual objections
To consumerism, the commercialisation of an ancient religion
To the westernisation of a dead Palestinian
Press-ganged into selling Playstations and beer
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  #30  
Old 3rd May 2017, 10:51 PM
wadaye wadaye is offline
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Default Re: Was Jesus 98.8% Chimp?

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pipbarber said View Post
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wadaye said View Post
I kind of also think its time to let Jesus rest in peace. I mean if the guy really existed he has been sorely over exploited but that doesn't detract from the possibility of his existence.
That's a nice sentiment Wadaye. It reminds me of a Tim minchin verse from his xmas song, white wine in the sun

...
And yes, I have all of the usual objections
To consumerism, the commercialisation of an ancient religion
To the westernisation of a dead Palestinian
Press-ganged into selling Playstations and beer
Yes it kind of goes like, 'I believe in Jesus'; 'Oh is that right? Well I don't believe in Jesus'. 'Oh is that so? Well I still do'. 'Well I still don't'. and so on.

[am i getting old? my eyes can no longer shift from computer to book or vice versa late at night.]

Edit: I found the time to step out of the paradigm
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Last edited by wadaye; 3rd May 2017 at 10:53 PM.
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