Go Back   AFA Forums > AFA > AFA Media Releases & Announcements

AFA Media Releases & Announcements Feel free to comment on issues the AFA is involved with.

Reply
 
Thread Tools
  #1  
Old 8th May 2016, 02:23 AM
TokenSkeptic's Avatar
TokenSkeptic TokenSkeptic is offline
AFA Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2014
Posts: 854
Default I Was On The Telly! (Sunrise, 7th May 2016 on Losing Faith With Mackay & Moffatt)



4:00am - get up and find everything was going to wear for the telly is covered in orange cat and orange cat fur.
Cat is bemused by early start to the day and proceeds to roll around on everything.

4:25am - manage to roller, pick and pluck every bit of fur off clothing, expel the cat out the catdoor and shower.
Fling on makeup, shoes, bit of hair scrunchy stuff so it doesn't look too lank, and pack bag with notes, copy of Mackay's book "Beyond Belief" and phone.

4:30am - as leaving suburb, it begins pelting down with rain and I spy a kitten fleeing into the undergrowth near a native wildlife area and I vow to return later that day and see if I can find it and get it to safety.

4:40am - still miserable about the fact that some monster has dumped a kitten in the wildlife area and it was near a road and it's raining and what kind of people exist on this planet and how the hell I'm going to talk about good in the world as an atheist when I didn't even pull over to get a kitten. IN THE RAIN.

4:45am - discover that phone is running out of charge, but fairly confident that the TV station is going to be where I think it is.

5:02am - discover that place where TV station was supposed to be is now real estate property with "Seven Hills! Buy Your Plot Now!" on placards everywhere.

5:04am - disturb local wildlife with language that is not going to feature on the television.

5:10am - coax phone to give ACCURATE directions after consulting email that I should have looked at rather than out-of-date stupid bloody unmentionable on the goddamned television buggery sod damn blast - and head towards the right part of the city.

5:15am
- pull over to petrol station and buy phone charger for the sodding phone.

5:45am - arrive at station and use last blast of phone battery to call the cameraman to tell him I've arrived for the 6am callsheet. He tells me he's on his way, but to go to the front desk.

5:46am
- head through what appears to be a Jurassic Park of fernery to get to second security door, where fellow apologises for not actually being the person who was meant to be in today.
And that there's no chairs in the waiting room either.
At least there's no velociraptors.

5:50am - go to the bathroom and plug phone into wall to charge it. Refix hair and sort out collar of shirt and general primping and remembering to breathe.

6:02am - cameraman fellow arrives with free newspaper, as the state newspaper is printed in the same building that the studio is in. Thank him very much and we go through a rabbit warren to find the studio, which he nearly breaks the door of because it's a push not a pull door.

6:05am - cameraman puts on the mic on lapel and the earpiece on the back and says that he'll hear me but won't be in the studio.

6:08am
- I promptly break the earpiece as I navigate with the two wires to find a powerpoint on the floor and plug in my phone to charge during the recording.

6:10am - cameraman returns when he discovers that I'm not hearing anything at all and I don't tell him that I broke the earpiece, but he doesn't seem to mind that much.

6:14am - the little screen to the leftof the big TV camera flicks on and I spy what is going live to air in Sydney at 8:14am in the morning.
They're talking about a charity ride for a cure for cancer; then shots of chasing Belle Gibson around a carpark asking her about how she now owes about a million dollars for not using a charity bike ride to cure cancer.

6:18am - the screen cuts to the team setting up an additional room while a commercial goes to air and I get to see and hear all the backstage stuff where the crew make jokes about Belle Gibson and put microphones on people and push chairs about.

6:20am - the cameraman appears in my earpiece to tell me that they're running late on their schedule, but he'll turn off the little screen so I don't get distracted during the interview.

6:30am - the screen is still on, and I get to see Gretel Killeen, who is fabulous and has hair that doesn't seem to need hair gel like mine, be scathing about refugees being plonked in unused holiday accommodation on Norfolk Island and I wonder if they could live in Colleen McCullough's place instead.

Or if Australia would just freaking grow up and let them into the country properly instead of doing all this stuff that could only be described by words that you can't say on television.

Inwardly panic that my hair will never be as beautiful and witty as Gretel Killeen and wonder if I should just hope to be gorgeous and intellectual like Colleen McCullough instead.

Or just aim to get through the next twenty minutes by just plain not passing out on camera or saying words that you're not allowed to say on the telly, as I faint and take the desk and screen with me in one giant electrical bang.

6:35am - presenter runs around plaza trying to be enthusiastic about overseas cars while mentioning how all the brands that used to be the best are completely screwed due to the economy.

Screen is still on and I'm still watching all of what they're up to - and then John Hewson is on the couch with the presenters trying to make a news story about how no one can buy a house or a locally made car anymore uplifting.

Feel slightly better that at least I'm not telling everyone in the country that they're completely f'ed because of housing prices and lack of manufacturing jobs, not that I would do that because you're not allowed to use that kind of language on the telly.

6:44am - screen is still on. I wonder if the cameraman knows this or is even awake. Try not to hyperventilate.

6:45am - hosts are suddenly talking about church attendance and I realise that I'm on the telly with my eyes looking to the screen to my left and I wrench my eyes to looking straight down the barrel of the camera and try desperately to ignore the fact that I can see me and everyone else dancing about on a screen in my peripheral vision.

6:47am - hosts are putting lots of visuals of people going to church and I use that time to sneak my piece of paper with three key points just on the edge of the desk, out of the line of the camera.

6:48am - I realise that Hugh Mackay's screen must be right in front of him, below the eyeline of the camera, and that's why he's looking down all the time that Justin Moffatt is speaking. It makes him look like he's not listening to Justin?

Make myself COMPLETELY IGNORE the screen to my left and focus on the camera, so I don't give that impression.

6:55am - it's all over. I think I blacked out.

I recall that I made reference to the charity ride for cancer and Belle Gibson at some point.

I remember mentioning the census and No Religion, which was the big main point we wanted to get out - and that I didn't get fired up by anything said and was polite. Earpiece tells me we're done and thanks very much.

I get all the wires untangled off me and discover I have about five missed phonecalls from relatives telling me that I wasn't horrific or embarrassing as much as they thought I would be.

The screen starts going on about how there's a national emergency about Shape biscuits, and that's why we only had that amount of time to talk about religion. I'm certain if there was a god, they'd be really freaking saying words they can't say on television.

7:45am - drive about ten kilometers below the lowest speed limit on the way home through the wildlife area in order to look for kitten but can see nothing.

Decide to head out there later with a tin of food to see if I can coax it out.

8:30am - record the entire thing off the computer with my phone and my best friend emails me to say that they watched the wrong channel and thought I'd be on a cooking program about beetroot cake instead.

8:50am - go to sleep.
Reply With Quote
Thank Logic please thanked this post
  #2  
Old 8th May 2016, 02:50 AM
Spearthrower Spearthrower is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Oct 2015
Posts: 4,119
Default Re: I Was On The Telly! (Sunrise, 7th May 2016 on Losing Faith With Mackay & Moffatt)

Nice one!

Please update on kitteh!
Reply With Quote
Like TokenSkeptic liked this post
  #3  
Old 8th May 2016, 11:38 AM
Darwinsbulldog's Avatar
Darwinsbulldog Darwinsbulldog is offline
AFA Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Perth
Posts: 18,831
Default Re: I Was On The Telly! (Sunrise, 7th May 2016 on Losing Faith With Mackay & Moffatt)

My version:-

1. Rescue kitteh

2. Jesus Christ why do you fucking believe in those moronic arse-gravy fairy tales?

3. Go home.
__________________
Just stick to the idea that science tests falsifiable hypotheses to destruction.
Reply With Quote
Like workmx, TokenSkeptic liked this post
  #4  
Old 8th May 2016, 12:28 PM
joele's Avatar
joele joele is offline
AFA Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2014
Location: Melbourne
Posts: 1,509
Default Re: I Was On The Telly! (Sunrise, 7th May 2016 on Losing Faith With Mackay & Moffatt)

I don't think the increase in church run schools is necessarily a reflection of "people wanting to instill Christian values in their children" as the presenter claimed.. I know a few people at work that are in effect atheists and send their kids to catholic schools simply as fully private schools are too expensive (and almost all are attached to religions anyway) and the public schools have a poor reputation in their area.
__________________
"Faith: not wanting to know what is true" - Nietzsche

“Religion the protector of the well fed and consoler of the hungry.” - Mikhail Bakunin

Last edited by joele; 8th May 2016 at 12:31 PM.
Reply With Quote
Like workmx, TokenSkeptic liked this post
  #5  
Old 9th May 2016, 10:29 PM
Logic please's Avatar
Logic please Logic please is offline
Wonder if the beer tastes as good?
Super Moderator
 
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Melb (capital of The Nanny State!!!)
Posts: 16,210
Default Re: I Was On The Telly! (Sunrise, 7th May 2016 on Losing Faith With Mackay & Moffatt)

Watched. Great job TS.
__________________
*Gods* are not only a legal fiction, but a fiction in every way. Just ask the nearest hippie...
Reply With Quote
Like TokenSkeptic liked this post
  #6  
Old 10th May 2016, 08:17 AM
workmx's Avatar
workmx workmx is offline
Feminazi and semi-professional inconoclast
 
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: Canberra
Posts: 6,155
Default Re: I Was On The Telly! (Sunrise, 7th May 2016 on Losing Faith With Mackay & Moffatt)

TS - Very well done.
__________________
Forgive me, I'm a sociologist and high horse slut!
Reply With Quote
Like TokenSkeptic liked this post
  #7  
Old 10th May 2016, 02:32 PM
142857's Avatar
142857 142857 is online now
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2015
Location: Sydney
Posts: 1,273
Default Re: I Was On The Telly! (Sunrise, 7th May 2016 on Losing Faith With Mackay & Moffatt)

Quote:
joele said View Post
....I know a few people at work that are in effect atheists and send their kids to catholic schools simply as fully private schools are too expensive (and almost all are attached to religions anyway) and the public schools have a poor reputation in their area.
Very true. My kids go to a Catholic school. They don't even care if your kids are Catholic or not, as long as you pay the fees.
Reply With Quote
Like TokenSkeptic liked this post
  #8  
Old 12th May 2016, 01:14 AM
TokenSkeptic's Avatar
TokenSkeptic TokenSkeptic is offline
AFA Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2014
Posts: 854
Default Re: I Was On The Telly! (Sunrise, 7th May 2016 on Losing Faith With Mackay & Moffatt)

Quote:
142857 said View Post
Very true. My kids go to a Catholic school. They don't even care if your kids are Catholic or not, as long as you pay the fees.
Absolutely. I have lots of experience of having only one or two really religious kids in the average religious-school classroom. Being third-gen kid attending with your siblings = fee discounts. Mum doesn't care about religion but wants to save money and says "loved my time in boarding school, so you should go too".
Reply With Quote
Like workmx liked this post
  #9  
Old 12th May 2016, 01:15 AM
TokenSkeptic's Avatar
TokenSkeptic TokenSkeptic is offline
AFA Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2014
Posts: 854
Default Re: I Was On The Telly! (Sunrise, 7th May 2016 on Losing Faith With Mackay & Moffatt)

Quote:
Spearthrower said View Post
Nice one!

Please update on kitteh!
Thanks everyone! no kitty yet but going there again tomorrow to keep an eye out. :/
Reply With Quote
Like workmx liked this post
Reply

Bookmarks

Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump


All times are GMT +11. The time now is 07:35 AM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.11
Copyright ©2000 - 2018, vBulletin Solutions Inc.
Feedback Buttons provided by Advanced Post Thanks / Like (Pro) - vBulletin Mods & Addons Copyright © 2018 DragonByte Technologies Ltd.