Go Back   AFA Forums > Welcome > Coming Out Stories

Coming Out Stories Share the story of your path to Atheism.

Reply
 
Thread Tools
  #1  
Old 10th April 2015, 11:27 AM
Nephrurus's Avatar
Nephrurus Nephrurus is offline
Junior Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2015
Location: North QLD
Posts: 9
Default Finally taking some steps

G'day!

Recently I've been taking my views on religion more seriously. I haven't posted here a lot yet but in my intro I ran through the fact that I'm an atheist in a family so moderately catholic that I'd go so far as to call them mild. A few weeks ago I made the decision to attempt to remove my name from the church, and today I made a start. I spoke to my mum (it was her decision to have me baptised and I felt the need to discuss this with her beforehand) and she was really cool about it. She said she'd known all of this about me since I was a kid. We had a good chat about it all. Sweet.

The next step was ok too. I spoke to a member of the local Catholic Diocese on the phone, and he said I just needed to go to the church where I was baptised. I can imagine this would be an issue for a lot of people who are far away from the place they were baptised, but luckily I'm heading home to see the folks soon and it's a 5 minute drive from them. So all of that was ok for me, and although he was a bit cold on the phone the guy was totally helpful (unless he was just fielding my call), and this is something I really want to do...

So I guess my question is why do I feel so frickin' terrible?

Cam
__________________
“Anyway, if you stop tellin' people it's all sorted out afer they're dead, they might try sorting it all out while they're alive. ”

- Good Omens, Terry Pratchett and Neil Gaiman
Reply With Quote
  #2  
Old 10th April 2015, 12:07 PM
Loki's Avatar
Loki Loki is online now
You get what everyone gets....you get a lifetime
Moderator
 
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Up the creek
Posts: 11,078
Default Re: Finally taking some steps

Guilt, and the irrational conferring of, is something the Catholics mastered long ago.

Haven't met a catholic or ex-catholic yet who didn't have a guilt problem.
__________________
"Reality is that which, when you stop believing in it, doesn't go away."Philip K. Dick

Reply With Quote
  #3  
Old 10th April 2015, 02:42 PM
wolty's Avatar
wolty wolty is offline
This space for rent
Super Moderator
 
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: Brisbane
Posts: 24,344
Default Re: Finally taking some steps

Quote:
Loki said View Post
Guilt, and the irrational conferring of, is something the Catholics mastered long ago.

Haven't met a catholic or ex-catholic yet who didn't have a guilt problem.
This and this again. as not a catholic I have noticed it also.
__________________
.
.
.


The Nizkor Project- Logical Fallacies

Atheist: n; A person to be pitied in that he is unable to believe things for which there is no evidence, and who has thus deprived himself of a convenient means of feeling superior to others.
—Chaz Bufe, The American Heretic’s Dictionary
Reply With Quote
  #4  
Old 10th April 2015, 03:24 PM
joele's Avatar
joele joele is offline
AFA Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2014
Location: Melbourne
Posts: 1,478
Default Re: Finally taking some steps

Quote:
Loki said View Post
Haven't met a catholic or ex-catholic yet who didn't have a guilt problem.
Strangely my sister went from jewish to catholic as judaism is too guilt based.
Reply With Quote
  #5  
Old 10th April 2015, 05:53 PM
stylofone's Avatar
stylofone stylofone is offline
I am no feeble Christ, not me.
 
Join Date: Feb 2015
Location: Sydney
Posts: 1,145
Default Re: Finally taking some steps

I mentioned Catholic guilt to a Jewish colleague once and she just laughed. Your pathetic catholic guilt is feeble compared to our monumental Jewish version, she said.

As for feeling frickin' terrible, well..... I have had nothing but contempt for the Catholic religion since I broke away in the 70s, and the target has been the clerical leadership. But when I think about the ordinary Catholics, like my very mild, moderate and not strictly observant relatives it's different. And sooooo many people who tick Catholic on the census form are also selective cherry-pickers, I think a lot of them a much closer to the atheist side of the spectrum than they are to the believers. Thinking about the associated ethnic background (vague Irishness on my part) also adds to the sentiment.

I think I'd feel bad about leaving all that behind, but not the dogma and the clerical authorities who lay it down. That's what you're resigning from.

You're not leaving the good bits behind, you're just picking fewer cherries than the people who are not formally quitting the religion. And hopefully more of them will learn from your example and leave those rotten ones on the tree.

Last edited by stylofone; 10th April 2015 at 05:55 PM. Reason: fixed typo
Reply With Quote
  #6  
Old 10th April 2015, 08:40 PM
Strato's Avatar
Strato Strato is offline
What Me Deluded?
 
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: The Bellarine, Geelong.
Posts: 5,606
Default Re: Finally taking some steps

Cheers Nephrurus. I think you'll feel better in the morning.
__________________
We can know something only if it is both true and knowable, Thinking Fast and Slow, Daniel Kahneman, 2011.
Reply With Quote
  #7  
Old 10th April 2015, 11:05 PM
Logic please's Avatar
Logic please Logic please is offline
Wonder if the beer tastes as good?
Super Moderator
 
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Melb (capital of The Nanny State!!!)
Posts: 16,206
Default Re: Finally taking some steps

Quote:
Nephrurus said View Post
So I guess my question is why do I feel so frickin' terrible?
I would hazard a guess it might also be because at some level, there's a feeling that you're giving up a part of your life or identity.

If I may observe: it's likely a part that you never wanted or needed.

Good luck with it.
__________________
*Gods* are not only a legal fiction, but a fiction in every way. Just ask the nearest hippie...
Reply With Quote
  #8  
Old 11th April 2015, 02:54 AM
joele's Avatar
joele joele is offline
AFA Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2014
Location: Melbourne
Posts: 1,478
Default Re: Finally taking some steps

To the OP, I feel the same sometimes, this little twang of guilt deep inside, it is unavoidable when you are brought up in a system and you are leaving it behind.

Just remember why you are leaving it behind and that they are the ones (their system) that imprinted that guilty programme, just another reminder why you left..

Quote:
stylofone said View Post
I mentioned Catholic guilt to a Jewish colleague once and she just laughed. Your pathetic catholic guilt is feeble compared to our monumental Jewish version, she said.
Lol I can imagine that, I suppose at least the Catholics believe they get a reward for all that baggage when they die..

Last edited by joele; 11th April 2015 at 02:57 AM.
Reply With Quote
  #9  
Old 11th April 2015, 01:42 PM
Chiropterous hominid's Avatar
Chiropterous hominid Chiropterous hominid is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: May 2014
Location: The TARDIS
Posts: 1,512
Default Re: Finally taking some steps

In that I am a little envious. Ignorance is bliss and ignorance of reality is really blissful. lmao
__________________
We need to ditch the dogma and begin using our brains.
Reply With Quote
  #10  
Old 15th April 2015, 04:48 PM
Ces Ces is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Australia
Posts: 282
Default Re: Finally taking some steps

I was raised in an atheist household and don't know about religious guilt, so this could all be bollocks, but

If you are feeling really bad about it you know you don't have to do anything. I assume you aren't supporting the church in any meaningful way, you are just on their books.

The most important thing here is how this affects you. If you think you can't live another minute on the books of a religion because principles/honour, then resign. If resigning is going to make your belly writhe and keep you awake then don't. Pick whichever line causes you the least stress. No-one worth their salt is going to care either way. Your family certainly don't, they love you.

You didn't have to send the Tooth Fairy a letter to tell her not to call any more.
Reply With Quote
Reply

Bookmarks

Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump


All times are GMT +11. The time now is 12:51 PM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.11
Copyright ©2000 - 2018, vBulletin Solutions Inc.
Feedback Buttons provided by Advanced Post Thanks / Like (Pro) - vBulletin Mods & Addons Copyright © 2018 DragonByte Technologies Ltd.