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  #11  
Old 24th April 2013, 12:05 AM
the_gelf the_gelf is offline
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wtf is a passover
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  #12  
Old 24th April 2013, 07:17 AM
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Hello all, thanks for your replies, it helps and gets me thinking a bit more.

Quote:
IYO, how might your family respond if you tried the following: "Sorry, I can't come to Passover dinner, but I'd still really like to see you all. Can I come and see you on the weekend instead?". Might that work as a circuit-breaker for you?
That, would just make them ask a lot of questions and make them feel I'm hiding something from them. Which would be the case. Knowing my dad, he's a inquisitive guy. If something bothers him he'll ask so many why questions that I end up tripping over my words. I know it's because he cares. It already hurt him him that I moved out. They felt like I was leaving them, which was partly the case. I needed to get out of that sphere, so I could think more clearly.

Quote:
I'd also mention the crisis support service provided by Lifeline, headspace, beyondblue and your local (bulk billing) GP as places to consider in terms of getting support.
Actually Lifeline was my first attempt, it was an older lady who promptly told me going to church would solve my problems.

Headspace just opened near my parent's place so when I was living there I tried them out. It was a bit of a struggle to get my dad to agree that I could go to counselling, he eventually decided it would be for the best. But after the 3rd session I brought up the issue of religion, she offered to send me to youth group, I accepted at that point because I was struggling with what was the truth or the lie. In a way I wanted to return and believe in religion again. But after what I had been through and seen, it was like taking the red (i think) pill in the movie The Matrix, and wishing I'd taken the blue pill instead.

The holidays came up and youth group was closed for the holidays, so it gave me time to think. By the time it reopened I had moved out, and had come to the terms that I couldn't do it.

I haven't gone back to head-space since, it's difficult to talk with someone who is Christian as (in my experience) they seem very biased and their advice is influenced by their church's doctrine.

Quote:
Do not underestimate the love your parents have for you.
Yeah I think we can come to terms eventually, but the process to that is going to hurt a lot. Being the type of person I am I hate causing hurt, and tend to give ground on basis on keeping the other person unhurt.

Quote:
Cult Counselling Australia
P.O Box 34
Balaclava, Victoria, 3183
Australia
Tel: +61 3 9523 2288
Fax: +61 3 9527 5060
Email: liberty@planet.net.au
Thanks for the link I will look into that, once I come back from T.A.F.E although it appears they're based in Victoria which is one hell of a commute from Queensland. lol

Quote:
wtf is a passover
This, although technically unhelpful did make me chuckle.

Passover, if you've got a bible can read Exodus 12 (I think it was chapter 12)
It basically sums it up.

You're supposed keep a lamb from the 10th day of the Hebrew calender until the 15th then slaughter it between the evenings, cook and eat it with unleavened bread. Then for 1 week you abstain from yeast products and anything leavened and only eat unleavened bread with your other food.

It's basically a festival to celebrate the time of the Exodus of Egypt.

Then with the New Testament. Passover occurs around the time Jesus had his last supper with his disciples, and was killed.

According to the biblical text he entered Jerusalem on the 10th of the Hebrew Calender (not Gregorian) and was killed on the 15th much like the Passover lamb.

I've done so many different versions of Passover, although as a family unit a lamb is too much to eat (and too expensive too) in one night so they tend to order a lamb shoulder.

After eating the bones and leftover meat are burned per to one of the rules to follow.

That's basically what they do in a family setting, but together in a group it tends to be entirely different. Also there are prayers and reading of the bible included too.


Sorry I did not have time to reply to all the posts school starts at 8:30 and I've got a half-an-hour bike ride to get there but need to pump my tire up as it's quite flat at the nearest BP gas, rest assured I did read all of the posts more than once. Thank you all for the posts, I found them all to be helpful one way or another. I'll be back from school later today and will be dropping by again.
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  #13  
Old 24th April 2013, 07:51 PM
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the_gelf said View Post
wtf is a passover
Just to flesh out what fromthericefields said about this, the passover is a Jewish thing, to commemorate that the final plague that Moses/God brought down on Egypt killing all the first born, passed them over because they painted lambs blood on there doorways, as per instructions from Moses/God.

It is an amusing example of biblical inconsistency, because all the cattle had been taken care of in a previous bout of smiting, were included in this plague also.

Fromthericefields folk seem to be in a mixture of Christianity and Judaism by observing this tradition. I must admit I had not heard of this blending of Christianity and Judaism before.
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Old 24th April 2013, 10:14 PM
the_gelf the_gelf is offline
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fromthericefields said View Post

This, although technically unhelpful did make me chuckle.

Passover, if you've got a bible can read Exodus 12 (I think it was chapter 12)
It basically sums it up.

You're supposed keep a lamb from the 10th day of the Hebrew calender until the 15th then slaughter it between the evenings, cook and eat it with unleavened bread. Then for 1 week you abstain from yeast products and anything leavened and only eat unleavened bread with your other food.

It's basically a festival to celebrate the time of the Exodus of Egypt.

Then with the New Testament. Passover occurs around the time Jesus had his last supper with his disciples, and was killed.

According to the biblical text he entered Jerusalem on the 10th of the Hebrew Calender (not Gregorian) and was killed on the 15th much like the Passover lamb.

I've done so many different versions of Passover, although as a family unit a lamb is too much to eat (and too expensive too) in one night so they tend to order a lamb shoulder.

After eating the bones and leftover meat are burned per to one of the rules to follow.

That's basically what they do in a family setting, but together in a group it tends to be entirely different. Also there are prayers and reading of the bible included too.
Thanks for that run-down. I did start replying to this at work, but it took a lot longer than I expected so I'm having a second go here.

I am glad you maintain an adequate sense of humour. My experiences with zealots and cultists is they have none.

From your description, it sounds like this passover thing is like any tradition such as Christmas, Easter, Guy Fawkes, Burns night or birthdays. What makes this one so special? I don't give a flying fuck about my birthday, I despise presents, but I begrudgingly accept people's offe to buy me dinner. I like food + drink, it's my one weakness.

"I don't give a shit about guy fawkes, but I like fireworks" is the attitude I would adopt.

"I like food"

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fromthericefields said View Post

I converted from religious to non-religious but assured my parents I still believed in god.

I want to be a good person, make my mark on the world. Change it. The lack of education, and struggle with depression makes this hard. But it's my vision, my goal.

I want to share my experience and come to terms with it and be free. But from past religious learning I'm scared to 'betray my brethren' some voice in the back of my head (figuratively) keeps telling me what if you're wrong. If you are and you blurt it all out, make god, your brethren, yourself, and your family look like a fool you're destined for hell and eternal disown and torture.

Thursday my family is celebrating Passover, my parents, brother and sisters, yes it's at a different time than the Jews (something to do with the moon) They've invited me for dinner.

This tears at my heart. I know I do not truly believe, and if I do, then I see Him as cruel.

If I remember correctly, non-believers and those not worthy are not to partake of the Passover.

I do not want to be a hypocrite. My entire family does not celebrate any of the world's holidays including Christmas due to their paganism, I don't either and don't intend to start.

I feel going for the meal is wrong. I would be lying and celebrating something I don't believe in. Not the qualities of a good person.

But I know the anguish I would cause my dad, my mom too but mostly my dad. It would tear him apart, destroy him even if I said that I no longer believe in god and want nothing to do with him. He would treat it as his fault for not being a 'good' father and pressure me to change my mind via a BIG guilt trip.

I don't want to face them, but I have to, because running away hurts too and solves nothing. I would live with guilt for the rest of my life, and imagine the hurt I would cause my siblings.

This post has become long and I'm not sure if I've got things clear or if it's all mumbo-jumbo. I'm just typing as it comes out.

I love my family very much, but do not know what to do.

A few ideas:

Watch as many episodes of the atheist experience (an american radio show that aims at a religious audience) as they cover many of the questions you will undoubtedly have. I've watched the last 50 episodes or so, and found thme quite useful (google atheist experience blip.tv)

I'm curious about your idea of what 'I want to be a good person' is. You haven't mass murdered anyone, so what makes you think you are not a good one already?

And if you are 'wrong'? Well the descriptions I have heard of heaven is that you become this humanity-less husk. No emotion, no caring for others etc. But as a human, you are a caring person. So... heaven sounds fucking shit. Plus all the coool people, like Carl Sagan, Richard Dawkins, Douglas Adams, Christopher Hitchens, Ricky Gervais... they won't be there. If there was anything I don't fucking want in an afterlife, it would be to have to spend the same space as zero-brained bible basher. That would be my personal hell! How's THAT for a paradox?

Secondly.... there are 70000 different 'brands' of christianity. Are they all wrong? (yes). Threatening personal harm for not thinking the way others do is abuse.


Where in the bible is there a mention of hell (specifically, rather than dribs and drabs that apologetics have formulated)

A lot of your questions will be answered here http://wiki.ironchariots.org/ (run by the same guys who produce atheist experience)

The concept of hell is not described in the bible, is it? Then why are children threatened with it? I understand un-indoctrinating yourself will take some time.


I think you need to reconstruct what it means to be a 'good' person. Am I a good person, the epic troll that I am? I can be both an inspiration and a detriment, if I choose. If I go into a druinken tirade (whihc happens too often here) does that mean I was a bad person while drunk so it's ok?

So that would be your homework I think. See 'good person' in a different light. See what it means to be a member of a 7-billion person planet.

In short:

Go eat. Don't tell them you don't believe. Just say you need to study for a test or something before the hunko-junko begins. Wouldn't a 'good' person want the ones they care about to suffer the least? And by doing my suggestion, you keep your family happy.

Good luck
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  #15  
Old 24th April 2013, 11:39 PM
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nambawanatheist nambawanatheist is offline
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Hi there,

I was really touched reading your story as quite a few aspects resonated with my own experience.

What I have found is that the issue is still a struggle for my parents to fully accept, even 7-8 years after the 'coming out'. But keep at it because part of being happy is being honest with yourself and others, even if it is painful for all parties involved. That's how respect is earned.

At the same time, do it at your own pace and in your own way; don't pressure yourself to achieve everything in a hurry. And honestly, if you need to tell a little white fib here and there to spare yourself the trauma of the guilt which will undoubtedly be imposed, then fib. Your parents have to get used to your absence too, and I found that it got easier for them the longer I had been detached from the religion (which is where the little white fibs were most handy.. "can't make it because of assignment" or even better ones that no one would want to argue with "I have the runs and cant be away from a toilet" or "I have my period and its a real gusher" - that was a conversation stopper right there ) and the more that I treated them with the "iron fist in a velvet glove" routine. Eventually I was able to be completely honest about everything with them, take of that glove and just give them a good iron fisticuffs when they got out of line

Take a breath and take your time. You're on the right track.

Thank you for sharing your story and being open about your struggle. I wish you all the best, and remember that this place is one of the best resources and support networks you can find.

And sorry if I grossed you out, but sometimes you have to shock people into leaving you the hell alone.
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  #16  
Old 24th April 2013, 11:44 PM
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nambawanatheist nambawanatheist is offline
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Just occurred to me that you may not be a woman..hmm

Well, if you're not then try out the menstruation excuse on them anyway and see how confused they get.. How many questions can your old man really ask about THAT!
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Old 24th April 2013, 11:51 PM
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fromthericefields fromthericefields is offline
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I had an entire rambling post all ready to send when I mistakenly deleted it. But let's say it's for the good of us all.

I'm going to post a simpler and more to the point reply to the following quotes:

Quote:
I am glad you maintain an adequate sense of humour. My experiences with zealots and cultists is they have none.
Me too, after being though a lot I haven't laughed out loud for more than 2 years. A chuckle is the best I can do, but just 6 months ago I couldn't even do that.

Quote:
Go eat. Don't tell them you don't believe.
If I don't I will agonize about it, for example, all day today I've been getting texts from my mom all day today telling me the details of their plans on what we're going to be doing on the upcoming Passover tomorrow night and looking forward to me joining in the whole thing, not only her but the entire family. My siblings are going to pull an all nighter, so they're excited about that. My family treats Passover like people treat Easter (the feeling and it's a special day/week).

To sum it up: to go and sit it out, I feel like I'm blatantly lying in their faces.

Quote:
Just say you need to study for a test or something before the hunko-junko begins.
The hunko-junko is integrated in the entire meal, plus my parents, either they've got physic capabilities or I'm a terrible liar, can detect when I'm not comfortable or 'off' as they put it.

Quote:
Wouldn't a 'good' person want the ones they care about to suffer the least?
But my fear is if I try and cover it up and it fails, or it succeeds but have to be honest later in the future. Won't that cause more suffering?

Quote:
I'm curious about your idea of what 'I want to be a good person' is. You haven't mass murdered anyone, so what makes you think you are not a good one already?
That statement caught me, I guess I don't currently consider myself a good person mainly because I don't meet my personal standards I tend to be a perfectionist and am either black or white in my thinking. I have the hardest time compromising regarding anything in life. Either I make it big and follow up with all the 'correct' decisions or I preform an epic fail. Unable to meet my standards I usually find myself preforming epic fails by giving up. I have no idea where this kind of thinking cropped up in my life, and am working hard to change it.

Quote:
Where in the bible is there a mention of hell (specifically, rather than dribs and drabs that apologetics have formulated)
My family would agree with you Hell does not exist, I just used that term to make it easier to explain to most as my family's (and my former) beliefs are a bit different than the average Christian. No Hell, just the lake of fire and second death.

Quote:
Am I a good person, the epic troll that I am? I can be both an inspiration and a detriment,
Not sure whether to take this as an example or that it's saying that I'm trolling here? If I am I apologize, internet savvy I may be but troll is sort of a word I've never bothered to ask the internet meaning of it until now.

Quote:
It is an amusing example of biblical inconsistency, because all the cattle had been taken care of in a previous bout of smiting, were included in this plague also.
I had those same questions growing up but was afraid to ask my parents or others to explain those inconsistencies.

Quote:
Fromthericefields folk seem to be in a mixture of Christianity and Judaism by observing this tradition. I must admit I had not heard of this blending of Christianity and Judaism before.
You're not the only one who hasn't heard of it. If you simply look up the key word Messianic it vaguely describes my family's belief. But remember that under the label Messianic are thousands of doctrines that vary from group to group.


Quote:
Watch as many episodes of the atheist experience (an american radio show that aims at a religious audience) as they cover many of the questions you will undoubtedly have. I've watched the last 50 episodes or so, and found them quite useful (google atheist experience blip.tv)
I knew this was going to come up eventually, truth is I was born deaf, I rarely am upfront with that info due to discriminating attitudes from people once they find out I simply cannot hear. Some of the statements I've heard (mostly in public not on the internet) can be really offensive or very stupid to the point of questioning the people's IQ.

Remembering one comment from a couple when I was younger swimming in a pool when they found out I was deaf they told my mom that they thought it was so tragic and asked her if I could read.

Errm... At that age, being home-schooled I benefited from one of the advantages of being home-schooled having a reading level above most people and kids my age. In grade 4 I was reading thick tiny print young adult books without a problem. The problem was with my ears not eyes.

And of course you've got religious people who are VERY uncomfortable around disabled people of any kind (note the deaf and dumb person possessed by demons in the NT).

I will check out Iron Chariots though as mostly reading material. Thanks for the link.

If you're wondering, yes my first post was much more longer I restrained myself on this post. I tend to ramble when thinking a lot or stressed. Taking all my thoughts and splattering them all on paper.
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  #18  
Old 25th April 2013, 12:22 AM
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Quote:
nambawanatheist said View Post
Hi there,

I was really touched reading your story as quite a few aspects resonated with my own experience.

What I have found is that the issue is still a struggle for my parents to fully accept, even 7-8 years after the 'coming out'. But keep at it because part of being happy is being honest with yourself and others, even if it is painful for all parties involved. That's how respect is earned.

At the same time, do it at your own pace and in your own way; don't pressure yourself to achieve everything in a hurry. And honestly, if you need to tell a little white fib here and there to spare yourself the trauma of the guilt which will undoubtedly be imposed, then fib. Your parents have to get used to your absence too, and I found that it got easier for them the longer I had been detached from the religion (which is where the little white fibs were most handy.. "can't make it because of assignment" or even better ones that no one would want to argue with "I have the runs and cant be away from a toilet" or "I have my period and its a real gusher" - that was a conversation stopper right there ) and the more that I treated them with the "iron fist in a velvet glove" routine. Eventually I was able to be completely honest about everything with them, take of that glove and just give them a good iron fisticuffs when they got out of line

Take a breath and take your time. You're on the right track.

Thank you for sharing your story and being open about your struggle. I wish you all the best, and remember that this place is one of the best resources and support networks you can find.

And sorry if I grossed you out, but sometimes you have to shock people into leaving you the hell alone.
Saw your post after posting mine, thanks for the input. It's really late at night 12PM (late for me) can't seem to sleep due to a lot of thinking.

No I'm not a woman but my mom and sister do that a lot to me when they're having conversation and I interrupt at the wrong time with what's up? So I understand the conversation stopping power behind those words.

Ladies have it easy sometimes .

I have been white fibbing for a while now, it's how I was able to move out. But I can only go so far with it. Like I said in my other post, I'm a terrible liar.

Quote:
Just occurred to me that you may not be a woman..hmm

Well, if you're not then try out the menstruation excuse on them anyway and see how confused they get.. How many questions can your old man really ask about THAT!
lol but knowing me with my dad, I'd stumble over my words and the joke would be completely lost.

I'm not sure if it's normal but with all the issues I have with my dad, little respect, mistrust and anger, etc, etc. I still love him and well, he is my dad through all the negativeness I could say about him, his approval is a little extra special to me.

I wish he could say that's my kid, but I've not done anything to make him proud other than being religious and believing in god. Now I don't and I fear the results when that comes to light.

Before posting this I sat back and thought about it a bit. If they can't accept it, I will have to move on, despite the pain, I can become a better person, and hopefully show him and my family that. But if we can come to terms and at least respect each other, I can still keep going in life with less pain on both sides.

It's sort of ironic as my parents left Christianity and the church joined the Messianic doctrines (a cult version within the general Messianic label) and denounced Christmas and all things pagan, etc, etc. They went though a shit storm with their own parents and still do after 11-12 years.

Now they're on the other side of the table, with their own son denouncing religion? Either it'll make things more complicated, or they may be more understanding.

I just hope for the best.
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  #19  
Old 25th April 2013, 04:05 AM
the_gelf the_gelf is offline
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fromthericefields said View Post

If I don't I will agonize about it, for example, all day today I've been getting texts from my mom all day today telling me the details of their plans on what we're going to be doing on the upcoming Passover tomorrow night and looking forward to me joining in the whole thing, not only her but the entire family. My siblings are going to pull an all nighter, so they're excited about that. My family treats Passover like people treat Easter (the feeling and it's a special day/week).
Here I read an imposed guilt. You are imbueing yourslef with guilt when none is necessary.


I fucking hate Easter. I don't know how else to express it. but I see it as the most pointless tripe.

Chocolate eggs?
Fuck off. What kind of bullshit do people try to peddle.
I have a friend (Greek Orthodox)who celebrates 'real' easter with 'real' lent. It's fucking hardcore and I would wish it on no one. Basically, forget anything that comes from an animal with 'red blood' or 'dairy' for a 7 weeks.

Now what kind of sense does that make to a physicist, who know what boson are?

NONE. ZERO. ZILCH. BUPKIS.

It's complete bullshit. imbued with meaning with a label of 'tradition' slapped on it.

Quote:
fromthericefields said View Post
To sum it up: to go and sit it out, I feel like I'm blatantly lying in their faces.
So?

It's a guilt-trip of your old life, that your lying is a bad thing. I could give you a thousand examples where lying is a good thing.

REligion relies heavily on imbued guilt.

"Religion tells you that your leg is broken, even when it isn't, and tells you how it fix it"
Quote:
fromthericefields said View Post



But my fear is if I try and cover it up and it fails, or it succeeds but have to be honest later in the future. Won't that cause more suffering?
Nope. No matter how big a deal you crackpot parents make out of something, it's always less than a mass-murder..

Also./

Pfft.

Lying causing suffering? Fuck off. If lygin caused suffering, the catholci church would be responsible for billions of lives wasted. Do they seem worried?
Quote:
fromthericefields said View Post
am either black or white in my thinking. I have the hardest time compromising regarding anything in life.

Either I make it big and follow up with all the 'correct' decisions or I preform an epic fail. Unable to meet my standards I usually find myself preforming epic fails by giving up. I have no idea where this kind of thinking cropped up in my life, and am working hard to change it.
I've never been religious, yet I find myslef asking if I've made the right deciions 'in life'.

Should i have pursued a PhD?

Should I (have) die(d) early(since physicists have the lowest of all lifespans)?

I seldom end up where I wanted to go, but almost always end up where I need to be.
- The Long Dark Tea-Time ofthe Soul, DOuglas Admas


Quote:
fromthericefields said View Post
My family would agree with you Hell does not exist, I just used that term to make it easier to explain to most as my family's (and my former) beliefs are a bit different than the average Christian. No Hell, just the lake of fire and second death.
Ao even in their literal translation, there is no hell.

What's to fear? A lake of fire when you've already been stripped of all emotion, and feeling? Thin king about it physcially (as a physicist) i'ts IMPOSSIBLE to feel pain if there is no electron trnaversal around neurons. Secondly, Pain is an 90% anxiety reflex (nothing more). Kn


Quote:
fromthericefields said View Post

Not sure whether to take this as an example or that it's saying that I'm trolling here? If I am I apologize, internet savvy I may be but troll is sort of a word I've never bothered to ask the internet meaning of it until now.
No, pretty much it's my admission that I troll for great justice



Quote:

I knew this was going to come up eventually, truth is I was born deaf, I rarely am upfront with that info due to discriminating attitudes from people once they find out I simply cannot hear. Some of the statements I've heard (mostly in public not on the internet) can be really offensive or very stupid to the point of questioning the people's IQ.

Remembering one comment from a couple when I was younger swimming in a pool when they found out I was deaf they told my mom that they thought it was so tragic and asked her if I could read.

Errm... At that age, being home-schooled I benefited from one of the advantages of being home-schooled having a reading level above most people and kids my age. In grade 4 I was reading thick tiny print young adult books without a problem. The problem was with my ears not eyes.

And of course you've got religious people who are VERY uncomfortable around disabled people of any kind (note the deaf and dumb person possessed by demons in the NT).

I will check out Iron Chariots though as mostly reading material. Thanks for the link.

If you're wondering, yes my first post was much more longer I restrained myself on this post. I tend to ramble when thinking a lot or stressed. Taking all my thoughts and splattering them all on paper.
Of course, there is the age-old "why go hates amputees"

Have your parents ever answered the questions why 'God' apparently 'hates you' so much that he sees it fit to never 'cure' you of you 'affliction'?

Either the God your parents portends to worship is either malicious or does not exist. Which is it? I know the answer. But are you convinced yet?

If you are having trouble assimilating with a godless world, just keep asking questions. If the answer you receive boilds down to "becuase GoD said so" then you've followed the yellow brick road into the mist when it's a birght and clear day!

Last edited by the_gelf; 25th April 2013 at 04:07 AM.
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  #20  
Old 25th April 2013, 01:59 PM
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Quote:
Have your parents ever answered the questions why 'God' apparently 'hates you' so much that he sees it fit to never 'cure' you of you 'affliction'?
When I was younger they taught me it was a blessing, and it was His will for a special reason.

I find religion tends to revolve around the 'I'm the chosen one' complex.

One thing I can agree with, I did enjoy some moments where being deaf granted me special status and I took advantage of that when I was younger.

Quote:
It's a guilt-trip of your old life, that your lying is a bad thing. I could give you a thousand examples where lying is a good thing.
It's not lying itself, I don't have a problem with lying if it is needed, but knowing the fact that I will eventually have to share it with them. Right now I think it might be best to be upfront in this case.

I mean if you were in my shoes I'm guessing you'd be upfront and say that you don't believe in god and that religion is wrong because he does not exist because it's truth and fact.

Quote:
If you are having trouble assimilating with a godless world, just keep asking questions. If the answer you receive boilds down to "becuase GoD said so" then you've followed the yellow brick road into the mist when it's a birght and clear day!
I was up most of the night last night well into the early morning thinking things out until I pretty much passed out. Thinking, and Reading.

I can say I'm 99% sure there is no god (I hope this is not the wrong answer) it's not possible to be 100% sure is it?
I don't wish to take the blue pill and go back into religion. I've come out if it, and have no desire to return.

What I am having difficulty with is changing my old ways of thinking and recreating a new person without religion.

I'm trying to get around taboos that I was taught that were abominable. Such as gay marriage. I'm not gay and don't have an desire to ever be. But when I see gay people I tend to cringe before I remind myself otherwise that they are people too.

'Dirty' talk about sex and other natural things is common, I never noticed it before as I always tended to avoid those kind of people. Now coming in contact with them I'm unsure how to react, even though I know it's only dirty because religion makes it to be.

Hope you understand. I in no way will go back to religion. But am still struggling with the remaining dirt.

It's like I have to un-educate myself before I can carry on.

I'm still going over to my parents as I promised I have to anyway as my younger brother somehow got his underpants mixed in with my stash and now he's got none I have no idea how he did that. I've also got a vocational placement the next day near their place so a sleepover is in the works too.

I'm not as worried as I did a lot of that last night, feeling a bit more confident now. We'll see how it goes?
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