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Getting started New to atheism or still in the process of removing those final theistic indoctrinations?

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  #31  
Old 17th May 2014, 07:25 PM
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DanDare DanDare is offline
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Default Re: Letting go

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Stewatheist said View Post
Looking all these post makes me feel even less alone in my endevour. My loss of faith and gain of reason was hard. The idea of a god was so ingrained and malignant it was hard to let go. At my brothers wedding in a catholic church, about nearly a year after I was firmly calling myself an atheist, I found myself automatically crossing myself when the priest prompted it. I stood stunned for a second and thought these bastard's dogma doesn't wash out easy.
I had abit of a hard time as a teen through the years (drugs, alcohol, self harm, depression, bullying and petty crime etc. etc. Someone call Dr. Phil type stuff) but I held on to the idea that this was gods plan and was I failing at it. Things will get better if I keep trying.
At age 18 whist in an alcohol induced stupor on the roof of my dads 8 story apartment building I found myself looking over the edge and thinking do it man, just do it and go to God. I knew suicide was a sin but hey god will understand, He's freaken god. But then the other part of me said what if you jump and fall straight through ground and plummet right into hell.
I couldn't leave this horrible life for an eternity of my flesh being seared from my bones so I collapsed in a heap crying and rocking back and forth(I repeated that a couple of times through my teen years). Indoctrination was one of the worst things that ever happened to me, it tortured me psychologically for way too many years. Letting go was definitely the hardest thing I've done for fear of what god might think if he really did exist.
Reason and logic paved a path of self trust and confidence that religion could only dream of offering.
I was never a theist. I always stand in awe of people who managed to go through this and come out sane at the other end.
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  #32  
Old 17th May 2014, 07:37 PM
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Default Re: Letting go

Sometimes I am amazed that I have come out as sane as I have. lol I could really have gone off the rails if I was not so mentally strong.
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  #33  
Old 30th July 2014, 08:24 PM
sakamuk sakamuk is offline
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Default Re: Letting go

Not only did i think it was silly. I thought why didn't i see how absurd this was before
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Bolero said View Post
I imagine "this is bloody silly" is a not an uncommon feeling when letting go of religion.
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  #34  
Old 30th July 2014, 08:56 PM
sakamuk sakamuk is offline
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Default Re: Letting go

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JediVerse said View Post
The final letting go for me came many years after realizing Christianity was bollocks. I was living with my wife-to-be whose friends were all Catholic (though she wasn't very religious at the time) and they all got together on a regular basis and had bbqs etc. They would talk a lot about religion and having a degree in theology and knowing it was all bollocks, I felt I should not say anything to question their faith as I still romanticized faith a bit and thought that causing their disillusionment would be a bad thing, even though it had been marvelous for me.

I believed in the "psycho-spiritual" power of the Christ myth, which is how I justified still calling myself Christian, and one day one of them asked me what I believed about god. I started telling them that I was a panentheist and that I beleived that god was the universe and was in the universe and blah blah blah and part of me was listening to myself gob on with drivel and thinking "you utter wanker. Why the f*%k do you bother with this shit anymore?" So the feeling was kinda disgust at myself and shame at my own pretentiousness, but that was the moment I realized I didn't believe in god anymore.

I then went for a few years thinking I was agnostic until I watched a Hitch clip on "God is not Great" and realized I was an atheist. This moment was very different. I felt uplifted and excited and almost "born again." It wasn't just that I realized I was an atheist, but that it was OK to be unapologetic and even brazen about it and to acknowledge that disillusionment was actually a really good thing. Brings a tear to my eye now remembering this in a time when Hitch is no longer with us. He is the only "celebrity" whose death has actually moved me to tears and still does. We miss you Hitch. I feel robbed that I never got to meet you. I almost hope hell is real so I can get a chance to meet up with you there later...
You made my day when you said you almost wish hell was real so you could meet hitchens. I enjoyed reading your post. I didn't go to the school of theology but i begun to investigate the concept of God when i started doubting my faith. I begun asking questions which i felt were not answered by the bible or the church. I found this quite dissatisfying and frustrating. Especially since the more inquisitive i became the more i was asked to just have faith, and told not overthink the religious dogma. I was accused of having too little faith, i was told that even if i didn't understand stuff i should believe just to be safe and go to heaven...and don't get me started on people who were so convinced a prayer would silence an inquisitive mind. Anyway i just couldn't understand why an intelligent being wanted me to follow him without thinking without reasoning, why not create me without a brain then. Besides it seemed that this God if he existed was very selective in the prayers he answered. The so called answers could be attributed to man helping a fellow man such that if no man chose to help another one was left to fend for themselves...despite there being an all powerful God. How was it possible that such a God could be called loving. Long story short In my frustration i stumbled on librivox recordings by Robert Ingersoll and i just couldn't get enough of him. Now exploring Dawkins, Seth Andrews, Hitchens...etc
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  #35  
Old 30th July 2014, 09:05 PM
sakamuk sakamuk is offline
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Default Re: Letting go

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Strato said View Post
I think my transition was going on a while due to inherent delinquency, happily transmitted through my dad. But I sure gave Christian discipleship my best shot, for an embarrassing number of years, through my mum's genes expressing in me.

Doing Social Sciences at Deakin made me have to wake up quick and demonstrate critical thinking, or fail. Applying that to the doctrines of Christianity one night, it all fell down like a house of cards. I had studied theology at the Wesleyan college in Melbourne.

Listening to Philip Adams' 'Late Night Live' each weekend on Radio National 621AM, driving 90 minutes was an enormous help to me.
I experienced the same while doing a PhD. I guess i had always been able to confine my critical lens to studies and keep it out of my religion. For some reason the pressures of the PhD program made me decompartmentalize my critical lens and once i critically examined what i believed it became harder to justify my faith the more inquisitive i was...that house of cards came tumbling down pretty fast
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  #36  
Old 30th July 2014, 09:24 PM
sakamuk sakamuk is offline
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Default Re: Letting go

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Chiropterous hominid said View Post
*Wipes tear from eye*

I know your pain, friend. I too was indoctrinated from a young age. I have been a rationalist now for more than a decade, perhaps close to 15 years. The flesh is indeed weak. I have had moments of mental weakness where I pretend to feel God's presence. I know it is my imagination. I still struggle with the remnants of the indoctrination in the back of my mind sometimes.

I find that what works is temporarily closing your mind to ALL emotions. Sit and stare at something like a clock face, preferably not an interesting painting. Stare at it for ten minutes and feel nothing. Think nothing. This will rest your mind and you should have clarity with a little practice. When you begin to think again, concentrate on thinking logically.

DO NOT concentrate on not thinking of God. DO NOT even think anything of spirits. Focus only on that which you do want the think about. Give it time and practice and it will become easier. I cannot promise that you will ever be completely rid of the harmful effects. I have not achieved that yet, though I can easily manage it. All the best.
Thanks for the advise
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  #37  
Old 30th July 2014, 09:43 PM
sakamuk sakamuk is offline
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Default Re: Letting go

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Sten said View Post
Is Christianity chamelon-like?

I would agree with this given all the variations and colors now on the market. We now even have Christian clergy that appear to not have any real belief in the factual content of the Bible. Guys like John Shelby Spong for example:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3rSid...ture=endscreen
I am baffled. Why does this guy has a collar around his neck? Maybe he has been in church too long that he has resigned himself to the fate of defending the necessity of a belief in God no matter what .
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  #38  
Old 19th December 2015, 02:05 PM
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Default Re: Letting go

As a kid my Mother used to be very sick, really not sure what her problem was but she was bedridden for what seemd to me to be long periods. My Grandmother was a devout Methodist and a great fan of the Rev Alan Walker. One day I was at home when Mum was sick and there was a knock at the door and I answered it and there were 2 ministers there and I didnt know what to think but they wanted to see Mum so I let them in and they had a long talk to her in bed, they asked for a cup of tea and so I trotted of to the shop and bought a packet of biscuits took them home made them a cup of tea with the biscuits and as they were leaving I heard one say to the other that Mum was a worthless case to go on with, she was too silly to realise that leaving her wealth to the church would ensure her soul's salvation etc....
I mentioned to Dad when he came home from work that their reverences had called and Mum spilled the beans, she said she wanted nothing more to do with them they were trying to get her to sign a will that left the Church as a benificiary and why would she do that...Dad hit the roof and I started to think that the Church may not be as charitable as it seemed. I was withdrawn from Sunday School and went to play with other kids who my Grandmother (now not at all amused by the incident) referred to as heathens. The Heathens had more fun than the kids who went to Sunday School and so it was from there that I started to see the light, then of course at Uni studying Engineering that the truth finaly hit home and it was actually a relief to know that many others shared my views on Religion.
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  #39  
Old 19th December 2015, 10:06 PM
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Default Re: Letting go

That's an absorbing tale Tramcar Trev. It is a pretty high impact thread to have refreshed.
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  #40  
Old 20th December 2015, 09:38 PM
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Default Re: Letting go

That's some nice story telling Trev. You should write in the "Comming Out Stories" forum.
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Burden of proof is the obligation on somebody presenting a claim to provide evidence to support its truth (a warrant). Once evidence has been presented, it is up to any opposing "side" to show the evidence presented is not adequate. If claims were accepted without warrants, then every claim could simultaneously be claimed to be true.

History isn't written by the victors. It's written by the people with the time machines.
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