THE (SCIENTIFIC) DEATH OF JESUS

[Deanus-Maximus]

So, here's a cracker I got through on email today. It's an old one it seems and has been ripped to shreds on a few forums I've seen so far but thought I'd post it here (hopefully not a duplication, but if it is, mods feel free to do that voodoo that you do) for everyone's entertainment.

Images excluded, but you'll still get the picture.

For the next 60 seconds, set aside what ever you're doing and take this opportunity! Let's see if satan can stop this.

THE (SCIENTIFIC) DEATH OF JESUS
At the age of 33, Jesus was condemned to the death penalty.
At the time crucifixion was the "worst" death. Only the worst criminals condemned to be crucified. Yet it was even more dreadful for Jesus, unlike other criminals condemned to death by crucifixtion Jesus was to be nailed to the cross by His hands and feet..
Each nail was 6 to 8 inches long.


The nails were driven into His wrist. Not into His palms as is commonly portrayed. There's a tendon in the wrist that extends to the shoulder. The Roman guards knew that when the nails were being hammered into the wrist that tendon would tear and break, forcing Jesus to use His back muscles to support himself so that He could breath.
Both of His feet were nailed together. Thus He was forced to support Himself on the single nail that impaled His feet to the cross. Jesus could not support himself with His legs because of the pain so He was forced to alternate between arching His back then using his legs just to continue to breath. Imagine the struggle, the pain, the suffering, the courage.
Jesus endured this reality for over 3 hours.

Yes, over 3 hours! Can you imagine this kind of suffering? A few minutes before He died, Jesus stopped bleeding.

He was simply pouring water from his wounds.
From common images we see wounds to His hands and feet and even the spear wound to His side. But do we realize His wounds were actually made in his body. A hammer driving large nails through the wrist, the feet overlapped and an even large nail hammered through the arches, then a Roman guard piercing His side with a spear. But before the nails and the spear Jesus was whipped and beaten. The whipping was so severe that it tore the flesh from His body. The beating so horrific that His face was torn and his beard ripped from His face. The crown of thorns cut deeply into His scalp. Most men would not have survived this torture.
He had no more blood to bleed out, only water poured from His wounds.
The human adult body contains about 3.5 litres (just less than a gallon) of blood.

Jesus poured all 3.5 litres of his blood; He had three nails hammered into his members; a crown of thorns on his head and, beyond that, a Roman soldier who stabbed a spear into his chest.
All these without mentioning the humiliation He passed after carrying his own cross for almost 2 kilometers, while the crowd spat in his face and threw stones (the cross was almost 30 kg of weight, only for its higher part, where his hands were nailed).
Jesus had to endure this experience, so that you can have free access to God.
So that your sins could be "washed" away. All of them, with no exception! Don't ignore this situation. JESUS CHRIST DIED FOR YOU! For you, who now read this e-mail. Do not believe that He only died for others (those who go to church or for pastors, bishops, etc).
He died for you! It is easy to pass jokes or foolish photos by e-mail, but when it comes to God, sometimes you feel ashamed to forward to others because you are worried of what they may think about you.

Accept the reality, the truth that JESUS IS THE ONLY SALVATION FOR THE WORLD.
God has plans for you, show all your friends what He experienced to save you. Now think about this! May God bless your life!
60 seconds with God...

For the next 60 seconds, set aside what you're doing and take this opportunity! Let's see if satan can stop this.
All you have to do is:
1. Simply pray for the person who sent this message to you: Lord, you know the life of _________. I ask You to bless him/her in all things and make him/her prosperous. Take care of his/her family, his/her health, his/her work and all his/her future plans. Lead him/her not into temptation, but deliver him/her from evil. In Jesus' name, amen.
2.Then, send this message to 10 people.
3.10 people will pray for you and you will make that many people pray to God for other people.
4. Take a moment to appreciate the power of God in your life, for doing what pleases Him.
If you are not ashamed to do this, please, follow Jesus' instructions. He said (Matthew 10:32 & 33): "Everyone therefore who acknowledges me before others, I also will acknowledge before my Father in heaven; but whosoever denies me before others, I also will deny before my Father in heaven".
If you believe, send this message... But send it only if you believe in Christ Jesus as your Lord and Savior.
Yes, I love God. He is my source of life and my saviour. He keeps me alive day and night.
Without Him, I am nothing, but with Him "I can do all things through Him who strengthens me". Philippians 4:13.
This is the simple proof. If you love God and you believe and trust in salvation through Christ Jesus, send this to all those you love.

[Loki]

Lets see....no corroborating evidence for any of that.

Hmm, lets check a random fact. "Jesus poured all 3.5 litres of his blood". The average adult human has around 5 litres of blood, numerous sources agree. Therefore Jebus was a midget or only 10 years old when crucified?

Fails at first hurdle.

Satan doesn't need to raise a sweat to defeat bullshit apparently.

[Aldaron]

Oh yes, how scientific.

For a start, it underestimates by about a third the amount of blood in an average human (about 5 - 6 litres, not 3.5)

And the crap about "he had no blood left so he bled water" was something told to me by a nun when I was about 6 years old. It's such a violation of the baloney-detection-kit that it's worth mentioning.

Do people seriously think someone would be alive with almost no blood and then suddenly be dead with no-blood? Such that water was all that was circulating in their body? For fuck's sake!

In reality, soldiers would often poke crucifixion victims with spears to see if they were still alive. The "water" was a relatively common occurrence if the victim's lung was pierced because hours of hanging by the wrists/arms would cause pulmonary oedema - a collection of serous fluid in the lungs.

It happened to all crucifixion victims (it was one of the main causes of death) and had nothing to do with them "having no blood left".

And to top it off, they get the times wrong from their own "source document". Jesus was supposedly crucified around 9 AM and died around 3 PM. That's six hours, bozos, not three.

*sigh*

So much shitting fail in such a small place...

The only thing I'll agree with is that crucifixion was a particularly barbaric and horrific form of execution - but to go on about it happening to a fictitious deity is an insult to all the poor bastards who really did die like this...

[Sir Patrick Crocodile]

Coming up next: THE (SCIENTIFIC) RISING OF JESUS

The extract will probably begin with something which indirectly says "Jesus died at the age of 33 as a sacrifice to himself, because he's that stupid." but in a subtle way that theists never pick up the true meaning.

[Darwinsbulldog]

A traumatic torture such as cruxifiction would almost certainly lead to the dramatic voiding of bladder and bowels prior to death. And of course, vomiting. No one can stand that sort of pain. The people cruxified, including the primate Jesus [if he existed] would have howled and whimpered in pain until losing consiousness. None of this is described for any of those tortured.
Not only is this a denial of death, but a failure to acknowledge even the processes that occur in death under such circumstances.

Faithheads not only refuse to have a realistic idea of death, but childish romantic and sanitised version of death. Of course, their fantasy hero cannot cry in pain, crap his pants, or vomit and piss all over the place, mixed with his blood. Such brutal facts would get in the way of a good yarn.

[Deanus-Maximus]

And this is why I love this place

[Voltairine]

Originally Posted by Darwinsbulldog

A traumatic torture such as cruxifiction would almost certainly lead to the dramatic voiding of bladder and bowels prior to death.

So that's why he's always depicted wearing a nappy on the cross...

[owheelj]

It's tempting to re-write this as a journal manuscript (but making the same arguments) and submit it to a journal in order to read the rejection letter (or send it Social Text, and see it published).

(But I'm too lazy, and I imagine that Nature just wouldn't respond).

[Rhys]

Originally Posted by Deanus-Maximus

And this is why I love this place

I was thinking the same thing.

[Aldaron]

A traumatic torture such as cruxifiction would almost certainly lead to the dramatic voiding of bladder and bowels prior to death.

Perhaps the victims were not given water for 24 hours pre-crucifixion, and given a ritual enema before heading up to the crucifixion location.

I never saw that in the Stations of the Cross!