I need help

[TÐöer]

I feel you GB.

I took computer science when in college, the only reason is because I figured I loved computers, and I'm smart enought to do it. I passed out, have a stable job. However, I think I may be way beyond burn out now. Started off quite promising, and out did my peers getting Senior status.

But day in day out, staring at a computer screen, doing programming just seems to be too mundane. I find myself returning to this forum, time and time again. More interesting then the work I have been assigned.

Have you considered taking philosophy? That course is not available to me here.

Lol, I doubt it was Wow, it's probably the type of people we are. We are all thinkers.

There were times when I thought I was loosing my mind, when things just do not compute. I'd figured, either I am crazy or the world is.

Have thought of visiting a psychiatrist too. But I can't, afraid of hurting my family, afraid of being branded as a nut and having less job prospects, then again it might not be us, it could just be the world we live in, and we have not found our calling.

For those who have not started, I think those psychiatrist are just playing god with drugs. My bro was on medication, withdrawal from his drug resulted in madness.

Einstein became famous only after working in a patent office as a clerk.

[Vonnie]

Just wanted to point out that while psychologists / psychiatrists - and there is a difference between the two - can be very helpful to some people, most of the people I have personally known with depression (and there are quite a few!) simply had chemical imbalances and their anti-depressant medication was prescribed by and managed by their local GPs with great success.

Vonnie

[GenericBox]

Just an update, I've been thinking, myself and with friends, over the last couple of days and I am pretty happy / excited in thinking I've found what I want to do.

As I wrote in my bio at the start of this year, ultimately my true passion is Science. It frustrates me that it has taken this long for me to be able to realise this. I am excited in that I feel like I know what I want to do now. I want to be a scientist. It's what I wanted to be since I was little and throughout high school.

I've been reflecting, and I think the main reason I surprised everybody who knew me by picking a business subject was because I was/still am scared.

The first year scared the shit out of me, and I realise I didn't handle it very well nor perhaps didn't seek the help (or anything) that I needed. My decision to do this course was never about what I wanted to do, but of complacency and fear. Seems ironic for an atheist.

I stayed in this course purely just to stay in this course, because I was afraid of what my family (most) and friends would think if I kept changing.

Anyways, if it isn't too late, next semester I will hopefully be starting B Applied Science (Medical Science) with goals of working on stem cells and a dream of one day curing something important. Otherwise, I will be starting this next year.

I am excited about this, and I actually feel that this is the right choice.

I suppose I am still in denial. It's hard for me to admit I was or am depressed. And indeed, this just may be a good night and tomorrow night I will be back feeling the same as I did before.

But, ultimately, I think it was what I was doing at university that was making me feel so, and now that I am excited and focused on what I want to do perhaps I will not feel the same way.

Time will only tell, and perhaps it is just the long weekend that I have that means I don't have to go to uni until Thursday that has got me so happy. Or maybe I am Bipolar. Who knows. But at least now I feel like I am ridding myself of the things I was most upset about. My degree, WoW, my future, and my direction.

Lastly, thanks for all the support. It really, really honestly has meant alot. It was nice to come on here and read the replies and it really did make me feel a whole lot better. This is still the only place I have expressed these feelings, and that helped alot too. It's not healthy to bottle it all up like I had been doing.

Anyways, I am going to wait it out for now. I think the sooner I can stop doing this course the better, and I would love to start my new one asap. It has me so excited.

PS. Now I have to face my family and my mum to tell them I am changing again. Back to something I did first year :S Now THAT is a scary thought. I will probably just omit the feeling depressed part.

[TÐöer]

Originally Posted by Vonnie

Just wanted to point out that while psychologists / psychiatrists - and there is a difference between the two - can be very helpful to some people, most of the people I have personally known with depression (and there are quite a few!) simply had chemical imbalances and their anti-depressant medication was prescribed by and managed by their local GPs with great success.

Vonnie

ah... maybe it's just the Docs in my country. They prescribe drugs like sweets.

[GenericBox]

Edit: I'll have to wait until next year to start. That leaves me wondering what I should do with myself for the next 6 months.

[SinisterDexter]

Originally Posted by GenericBox

Edit: I'll have to wait until next year to start. That leaves me wondering what I should do with myself for the next 6 months.

Enjoy yourself. Make sure it is what you want to do. Refocus. But don't burn your bridges. Don't just drop out. Withdraw properly.

I think you've made a mature decision - but remember, if it is depression, that it is not an easy fix. Your GP and/or a psychologist can help you with coping strategies for the future. I would still recommend you talk to your GP.

But change can help. Good luck and remember we are here to help.

[Iridescence]

I personally throw a rather bad reaction to SSRI drugs, I tried 4 different brands before I decided to just give them a miss. I am very ill for days after one or 2 doses. Fortunately for me I had a tremendous support network and my depression was quite situational, taking me out of the situation did wonders for my mental health.

GB, it's great to see you have been thinking it through and made a decision! I hope it works out for you

[Atrax Robustus]

Hi,

You've been given some outstanding advice by your friends on the board here mate.

Depression is insidious and is easily treated - don't ignore it because it is unlikely to go away on its own!

Go to a counsellor at the Uni or see your GP - - - please?

[Godless Ray]

Best of luck mate!

Godless

[Fearless]

Some great advice above...

One thing I would like to add which I think is relevant and I have experienced lately try to deal with any ball and chain you are dragging around with you. Today it feels light but who knows in a few months something might happen (ie, financial hardship, strained relationship etc) which could trigger your feelings all over again and you may find yourself in a slightly deeper hole.

In my example with my workcover claim (workplace bullying), people kept asking me why I didn't just quit and find another job (not necessarily in that order), I felt at the time that although it seemed logical I wasn't sure if it was the answer. That I needed to fight this battle even if I lost (which I didn't). My psychiatrist helping me through this time said "Sure you can find another job and long term it is probably the answer, but if you don't deal with the issues, and your current phsychological injury you could end up taking your problems with you unknowingly and it may seriously affect whatever you move on to whether you mean to or not."

Basically I guess saying if there is a problem, try to understand it, try to get help or assistance for it and try to eradicate or get it under control so whatever you move on to (your science goals) that you are mentslly prepared to give it your best go.

As for WoW, reading your thread and knowing what I have gone through myself I am seriously considering cancelling my subscription... to put that time into something more constructive, something I am more passionate about. Thank you for sharing that as I do think it is relevant. I do think the game is adictive, the fact that it never ends and you have put so much time and effort into your characters the thought of giving up is bloody hard for me. I was told it had a negative effect on a previous relationship of mine too. I am pretending it didn't in my head but it may just have to be honest to myself.

Either way, all the best. Good on you for speaking up, even if it was on a forum... many don't and never really deal with it. I think you will find that very few people never have depression in their life time and many will continue to have it surface in their life and learn to live with it... doesn't mean you are a basket case or anything...

...it means you are human