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Old 21st March 2017, 10:47 AM
Banjo Banjo is offline
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Default Easiest way to deal with the JW's that just visited.

"Hello, we're from the Jehova's Witnesses."

'Can you please read my T shirt?'



"Oh, thank you. Bye."

'Don't ever come back!'
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Old 21st March 2017, 10:59 AM
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Default Re: Easiest way to deal with the JW's that just visited.

My favourite

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The Nizkor Project- Logical Fallacies

Atheist: n; A person to be pitied in that he is unable to believe things for which there is no evidence, and who has thus deprived himself of a convenient means of feeling superior to others.
—Chaz Bufe, The American Heretic’s Dictionary
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Old 21st March 2017, 11:32 AM
Banjo Banjo is offline
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Default Re: Easiest way to deal with the JW's that just visited.

Ha ha. Christians are so funny. If only they read their bible. In a way I think it shows they don't really believe. If there was a book written by an author who created a universe, wouldn't that be a must read?

Classic.

My way was simply faster.
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Old 21st March 2017, 11:52 AM
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Default Re: Easiest way to deal with the JW's that just visited.

A door-knocker to say it all without words!
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Old 21st March 2017, 01:06 PM
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Darwinsbulldog Darwinsbulldog is offline
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Default Re: Easiest way to deal with the JW's that just visited.

I could be wrong, but I think the Asian lady was reachable. Most team I have seen has one person who is the warrior for doctrine, and the other an inexperienced person in "training" [if that is the word] who follows the leader.

Last time I bothered to interact with JW door-knockers, it was a male pair. A young guy and an old foul dude. Luckily I am familiar enough with my bible to score some points against the young guy, who had potential, because the second, and more powerful weapon in my arsenal was science.

With the young guy I was scoring heaps of points on technical knowledge of the bible, and if that was not enough, I started giving scientific explanations for everything. The young guy got really interested, especially how I explained how science was able to gather useful information about the world, to cure disease etc. He was hooked, but unfortunately the older warrior for doctrine pulled him away, and that was that.

No doubt after these "harrowing" encounters the young neophytes are subjected to corrective re-programming. To wash away the corrupting influence of the trickster puppy!
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Old 21st March 2017, 01:24 PM
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Default Re: Easiest way to deal with the JW's that just visited.

Quote:
Darwinsbulldog said View Post
I could be wrong, but I think the Asian lady was reachable. Most team I have seen has one person who is the warrior for doctrine, and the other an inexperienced person in "training" [if that is the word] who follows the leader.
(snip)
No doubt after these "harrowing" encounters the young neophytes are subjected to corrective re-programming. To wash away the corrupting influence of the trickster puppy!
Indeed, Sir Pup. Always lead with a sweeping kick to the knee-o-phytes.
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Old 21st March 2017, 09:04 PM
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Default Re: Easiest way to deal with the JW's that just visited.

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A door-knocker to say it all without words!
That is precisely why we are not to make graven images. Commandment no.2.

That poor bastard, who modelled for it.
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Old 21st March 2017, 10:37 PM
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Default Re: Easiest way to deal with the JW's that just visited.

Many moons ago, I was a long-haired twenty-ish martial-artist with all the musculature that implies. There's a picture around here somewhere.

*roots around in the archives*

Ah, here we are:


Taken a year or so before I really hit the weights, and before this anecdote.

Anyway, the JoHos came a visitin', one a more elderly woman and the acolyte in her mid-to-late teens. I was largely nocturnal and in the habit of sleeping naked, so when the door was knocked upon at ten in the a.m. I sleepily pulled on a pair of shorts and went to answer it.

I can only imagine the terrors of Satan that entered the elder's mind as this mostly-naked and evilly-grinning (did I say evilly? I meant eagerly) vision answered the door, and invited them in for a cup of tea and a discussion about theology.

The younger seemed taken with the idea, but was hustled away a-haste, and JayDubs never darkened that lintel again.

I swear, Officer, all I did was ask them in for a cuppa and a talk about their Lord.

(I also have a background in makeup effects, principally horror. Two of my friends of similar ilk once saw missionaries working their way up the street toward their house, hastily stripped naked and covered themselves in fake blood and Satanic symbols, and burst through the front door in full mid-ritual shenanigans as said god-purveyors entered the front gate. I'm told that by the time the police arrived, there was no evidence of orgiastic sacrifice to be found, but no-one of a god-bothering mindset ever entered the property again.)

There are plenty of ways to deal with them. Yours, Banjo, is admirably to the point. My father used to greet them with seven different versions of the Bible and ask them which one they preferred to talk about. 'Twas a rare bird with the bravery to take the old bastard on, and I sometimes imagine there must be tales spread about the old man and me in missionary circles, because I've not been visited since I was about 20.

Oh, except the couple of times in the pub I used to work at. Can't blame the poor fucks, though. How were they to know that the bloke behind the bottleshop counter knew their theology and its downfalls better than they? Amused the hell out of the customers waiting to buy a six-pack though.

To be fair, these customers also knew of my predilection for tearing bullshit to shreds and I was the bloke you went to for answers to unusual questions. So they just looked on the conversation as a sort of free show, and bought me a beer at knock-off.

Holy fuck, I'm now the most stereotypical middle-aged man ever, telling tales of my younger triumphs, like Al Bundy and a touchdown.

I'm sorely tempted not to post this, but fuck it. Let it stand testimony: I'm not cured of being an arrogant cunt yet.
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Old 21st March 2017, 10:59 PM
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Default Re: Easiest way to deal with the JW's that just visited.

Not arrogant, just outspoken. When something needs saying.
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Old 22nd March 2017, 07:13 AM
Banjo Banjo is offline
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Default Re: Easiest way to deal with the JW's that just visited.

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Not arrogant, just outspoken. When something needs saying.
Too right. What I like is we Aussies can and will be outspoken and speak our minds. And fuck anyone who tells us we're wrong.

This fact, that I'm an outspoken Aussie, saw me land in the shit at American forums. They're so PC they found it difficult to understand.

Meanwhile they are so repressed they end up with Trump as president.

Fuck that! I say.
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