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  #21  
Old 4th June 2017, 07:01 PM
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Default Re: Terminological Workaround

Kindness is better than elitism and intelligence and so is integrity.

However, my use of intelligence is non-elitistic. I reject elitism and embrace egalitarianism. When I say intelligence, I mean a form of rationality or rational use of mind and reasoning/thinking.

Sometimes, we need to step back and reflect/use intelligence a bit when our kindness/altruism goes a bit too far, irrational and is somewhat irritating and encroaching upon other people's feelings.

The best bet is to control one's anger, antagonism and any deeds that might hurt others rather than trying to be too kind - and use intelligence to negotiate with people in a diplomatic manner to determine whether to be kind to them or not (if one's kindness can get on someone else's nerves, then avoid it - that's part of negotiation and assessment). This assessment is really important and a skill too requiring interpersonal intelligence first of all - as there are cultural variations of kindness and in some cultures, kindness can be very offensive.

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  #22  
Old 4th June 2017, 07:09 PM
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Azurisan21 said View Post
Kindness is better than elitism and intelligence and so is integrity.

However, my use of intelligence is non-elitistic. I reject elitism and embrace egalitarianism. When I say intelligence, I mean a form of rationality or rational use of mind and reasoning/thinking.

Sometimes, we need to step back and reflect/use intelligence a bit when our kindness/altruism goes a bit too far, irrational and is somewhat encroaching and irritating other people.

The best bet is to control one's anger, antagonism and any deeds that might hurt others rather than trying to be too kind - and use intelligence to negotiate with people in a diplomatic manner to determine whether to be kind to them or not (if one's kindness can get on someone else's nerves, then avoid it - that's part of negotiation and assessment). This assessment is really important and a skill too requiring interpersonal intelligence first of all - as there are cultural variations of kindness and in some cultures, kindness can be very offensive.
I am going to need examples - If, in our culture, something is offensive - I won't do it because I try to be kind. How then can kindness be offensive? One culture's idea of kindness may be offensive to another's - but that is not the same thing.
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  #23  
Old 4th June 2017, 07:10 PM
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I am going to need examples - If, in our culture, something is offensive - I won't do it because I try to be kind. How then can kindness be offensive? One culture's idea of kindness may be offensive to another's - but that is not the same thing.
Yes, kindness is a personal thing. But too much kindness can be offensive. For example, if one is caressing someone else to the point that the person being caressed is getting irritated, this has to stop.
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Old 4th June 2017, 07:11 PM
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I am going to need examples - If, in our culture, something is offensive - I won't do it because I try to be kind. How then can kindness be offensive? One culture's idea of kindness may be offensive to another's - but that is not the same thing.
Yes, kindness is a personal thing. But too much kindness can be offensive. For example, if one is caressing someone else to the point that the person being caressed is getting irritated, this has to stop.
Ok - maybe you need to reassess your definition of 'kindness'.
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  #25  
Old 4th June 2017, 07:15 PM
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Ok - maybe you need to reassess your definition of 'kindness'.
Kindness is to express one's affection, to be courteous, to offer a helping hand in times of one another's unrest, to be cooperative, and so on.

A bad example that can be offensive to some people is to express one's affection through physical touch, verbal messages, e.g. 'I love you/I care about you' or facial expressions, e.g. smiling and air-kissing that can be annoying or intrusive.

A good example of kindness is courtesy and cooperation. Courtesy means being polite, understanding and assessing the other person's situation, level of tolerance and needs with due consideration. Cooperation is obviously a great thing and quite opposite being competitive.

To cooperate and offer help requires assessorial intelligence first of all - else it can offend someone without negotiating first.

Last edited by Azurisan21; 4th June 2017 at 07:19 PM.
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Old 4th June 2017, 07:24 PM
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Ok - maybe you need to reassess your definition of 'kindness'.
Kindness is to express one's affection, to be courteous, to offer a helping hand in times of one another's unrest, to be cooperative, and so on.

A bad example that can be offensive to some people is to express one's affection through physical touch, verbal messages, e.g. 'I love you/I care about you' or facial expressions, e.g. smiling and air-kissing that can be annoying or intrusive.

A good example of kindness is courtesy and cooperation. Courtesy means being polite, understanding and assessing the other person's situation, level of tolerance and needs with due consideration. Cooperation is obviously a great thing and quite opposite being competitive.

To cooperate and offer help requires assessorial intelligence first of all - else it can offend someone without negotiating first.
A good example of kindness is being kind - doing things that help other people without need to impose on them or seek recognition.
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  #27  
Old 4th June 2017, 07:24 PM
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Default Re: Terminological Workaround

Another very classic yet a very bad and quite emotionally intrusive/offensive example of kindness (depends on the person but to me, it is very downright offensive) is when someone is sending me prayers or saying 'Amen' for something that I was suffering through - or that a saint comes to visit me in the hospital ward and offer hugs and blessings.
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  #28  
Old 4th June 2017, 07:26 PM
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A good example of kindness is being kind - doing things that help other people without need to impose on them or seek recognition.
A classic but valid and good example of kindness is providing service, whether paid or unpaid that meets customer needs or needs of friends, family or someting. Volunteering is another great, rational example of kindness.
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  #29  
Old 4th June 2017, 07:35 PM
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Default Re: Terminological Workaround

I think we are talking past each other.
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  #30  
Old 4th June 2017, 07:54 PM
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Nope. I'm done with it.



I learned so many practical things from a man who did no more than third grade school, and spelled "water" "warter".



Those skills I picked up have been of more use to me than any formal schooling I received.



But if you want to think you're smart, go ahead. See if you are up to a simple challenge like communicating clearly in text and being understood.



I do want to make it clear though. Eye-rolls or not, I am finished with this thread.


^ This.



As far as the type of intelligence that means kids score well on school exams goes, for what it is worth, 'gifted' is a good description as they didn't do anything to earn it.



Most of the people who have shaped my life and have my admiration and respect are people that would not be able to complete the education I have completed. It means very little. Many of them are far more financially successful than I will ever be, and many of them have skills I will never be able to acquire. We all contribute in our own way and, as I have said before, I will take kind people over 'intelligent' people every day of the week.



You need to move past this fixation on intelligence and elitism.


Both of these. All of the above. Winning all the wins.
I have learnt most from the least likely sources.
I have high intelligence laugh and poke at me.
In the end elitism is elitism, and never pretty


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