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  #31  
Old 6th July 2017, 02:00 PM
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Default Re: Awards For Outstanding Intelligence

Mission accomplished.
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  #32  
Old 6th July 2017, 11:37 PM
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Default Re: Awards For Outstanding Intelligence

I can play Dark Was the Night, Cold Was the Ground on Which Our Lord Was Laid, Blind Willie Johnson, 1927, just like Ry Cooder.

But only the Beloved has ever heard me nail it. She says, 'slide night again.'
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  #33  
Old 21st July 2017, 08:48 AM
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Default Re: Awards For Outstanding Intelligence

Dealing With Loss, or was that "Dealing, With Loss"?

Quote:
A Florida drug dealer ended up calling the police when his own stash of cocaine was stolen from his car.

David Blackmon, 32, of Fort Walton Beach called the Okaloosa County Sheriff's Office on Sunday morning claiming someone had stolen a bag of drugs and cash from his car.

Blackmon even identified himself as a drug dealer and told cops who came to assist that $50 in cash and a quarter ounce of cocaine had been taken from the car while it was parked up.
Read the whole thing, for your daily allowance of irony.
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  #34  
Old 6th September 2017, 12:37 PM
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Alice Springs man stole paintings from gallery then tried to sell them back to owner, police allege

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An Alice Springs man is facing charges which, if proven, may see him join the ranks of the most foolish criminals in the Northern Territory, after allegedly breaking into an art gallery and then later trying to sell the artworks back to their owner.

NT Police have charged a 58-year-old man with unlawful entry, stealing and property damage following the incident, which occurred about 1.30am on Tuesday.

"It is alleged the offender entered an art gallery and stole several rolled-up canvasses," Detective Senior Sergeant Peter Malley said.

"Unfortunately for the [alleged] offender the person he later attempted to sell the paintings to was the gallery owner.

"He was arrested a short time later," Mr Malley said.
More@Source.

And read the source for "NT's most foolish criminals" - also persons of rare intelligence.
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  #35  
Old 15th September 2017, 11:38 AM
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Default Re: Awards For Outstanding Intelligence

ABC linky

Quote:
The RSPCA officers in Coventry, UK, were left astonished and confused after receiving a call from the family about a lizard home invasion.

The "terrified" family thought a resourceful reptile had sneaked into their teenage daughter's bedroom.

But when RSPCA officers were deployed to the house, they discovered the "intruder" was...


Quote:
"...reminding her that another one will turn up soon as they are usually in pairs."
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  #36  
Old 18th September 2017, 02:20 AM
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Bring A Dislodger - There's Weight On His Todger LINK

Quote:
What do you get when you add gym weights to male genitals? A painful problem.

It may seem like common sense not to but a German man did just that, getting himself into trouble after his penis became stuck in the hole of a 2.5 kilogram gym weight plate.

To make matters worse he needed the help of the fire brigade and their power tools to remove it.

The fire brigade was on Friday called to a hospital in the city of Worms, Germany, after doctors were unable to free the man's penis from the plate.

The man was sedated and the fire brigade spent three hours freeing him with angle grinders and a hydraulic rescue device.

Firefighters posted a picture showing the smashed 2.5kg weight after they sliced it to bits (the weight that is, not the penis).

Writing on Facebook, the fire service said: "Please do not imitate such actions!"
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  #37  
Old 19th September 2017, 11:21 AM
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Quote:
The Irreverent Mr Black said View Post
Bring A Dislodger - There's Weight On His Todger LINK

Quote:
What do you get when you add gym weights to male genitals? A painful problem.

It may seem like common sense not to but a German man did just that, getting himself into trouble after his penis became stuck in the hole of a 2.5 kilogram gym weight plate.

To make matters worse he needed the help of the fire brigade and their power tools to remove it.

The fire brigade was on Friday called to a hospital in the city of Worms, Germany, after doctors were unable to free the man's penis from the plate.

The man was sedated and the fire brigade spent three hours freeing him with angle grinders and a hydraulic rescue device.

Firefighters posted a picture showing the smashed 2.5kg weight after they sliced it to bits (the weight that is, not the penis).

Writing on Facebook, the fire service said: "Please do not imitate such actions!"
In follow-ups, people asked if the man wipes down exercise equipment after use, and some comment relating to the "clean and jerk".
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  #38  
Old 19th September 2017, 05:10 PM
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Default Re: Awards For Outstanding Intelligence

Well, we all have our little peccadillos. Although, gym equipment was harmed in the process but i think it's reasonable to conclude this is not the normal outcome of such activity?

I really kind of want to know more about this...attraction...but also kind of don't.
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  #39  
Old 19th September 2017, 05:44 PM
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Quote:
pipbarber said View Post

I really kind of want to know more about this...attraction...but also kind of don't.
He saw a hole... that's enough for some guys.
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  #40  
Old 19th September 2017, 06:21 PM
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Default Re: Awards For Outstanding Intelligence

Quote:
knowledge is power said View Post
He saw a hole... that's enough for some guys.
I'm skeptical about that analysis. Why couldn't someone have an intense attraction to gym equipment? It's just a form of object sexuality. I know it's funny and all, and if it is the case that this guy is really hot for gym equipment, well...i hope he can laugh about it too - because sexuality, in every consensual form it takes, is hilarious.

NB - object sexuality does not require consent. (unless the owner of the object has an issue, i guess)
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