Xian "Science" FTW

[Loki]

Henry Morris displays the startling rationality, logic and insight creationists have become justly feted for;

Plants are food—they are not alive.

First he asks himself a difficult and disturbing question;

If we do indeed “kill” (take the life of) plants as we consume them, then God Himself authorized that killing. He specifically designed plants as food (Genesis 1:29) and drew a strong distinction between food and the “life” of everything else (Genesis 1:30). If God authorized the “killing” of plants, then God designed death into the very essence of the creation—and pronounced it all “very good” (Genesis 1:31).

Here’s the heresy: If God designed death into creation, then death is as “good” as all other factors—and the atheistic evolutionary doctrine is right. Death is the “good” force that brings about the ultimate “fittest” in our universe. Death, therefore, is not “the wages of sin,” and our Lord Jesus’ death was not necessary for salvation—it was just the wasted effort of a deluded martyr.

he then solves this thorny theological conundrum by simply declaring, you guessed it, plants aren't alive so they don't count.

unbefuckinleavable.

That's ignoring the "atheistic evolutionary doctrine" fuckwittery.

This is turning up all over the web today but I thought it was worth reproducing here, why should they get all the laughs?

[Darwinsbulldog]

'Tis only a matter of time before he declares atheists non-living too!

[Goldenmane]

I love this shit, because I know what it is. It's rules-lawyering.

We all do it. Or, well, I do it. I can only assume I'm not the only one. It was a crucial element to me getting out of the magical bullshit, actually. See, if you have a similar sort of mind to mine, you tend to manipulate things; ideas, concepts, rules - to see what happens.

It's just hacking, and in that sense is akin to science or any other form of hacking.

Sometimes, though not really often enough in my view, the person doing this starts modifying their basic assumptions and checking the results against reality. Actually, it's the 'checking results against reality' bit that's the important step.

Anyway, he's just arguing with himself because he realises that there's something fucking wrong with his understanding. Hopefully, he follows through.

[Sir Patrick Crocodile]

Wanna revelation 7:1 Bru?

And after these things I saw four angels standing on the four corners of the earth, holding the four winds of the earth, that the wind should not blow on the earth, nor on the sea, nor on any tree.

Christian geology fucking pwns!

[Brisbane Atheist]

What about single celled algae Mr Morris, aren't they plants with independent movement? And what about zooxanthellae, does it grow an animal, or does the animal grow zooxanthellae?
In the real world, life is far more complex than your feeble definition.

[AUSloth]

Originally Posted by Henry

These teachings cannot be harmonized. Either the Bible is Truth (capitalization intended) or it is Error. The choice is clear. The message is clear. The effect is eternal!

Well at least he gets one thing right, just happens that he can't bring himself to admit the bubble is the error.

[Aldaron]

Henry Morris must be, quite literally, the most stupid person I've ever read. And I'm including a variety of red-necked, gun-toting, tobacco-chewing good ol' boys in that.

Does he not realise he's just gone out of his way to demonstrate that his book of fairy-tales is, in fact, "in Error"?

Plants are alive.
The Bible says plants are not alive.
Ergo, the Bible is wrong.

QED, Henry...

[the_gelf]

hmm, what about protists, fungi and archaea. NOne of them are plants nor animals, but they are certainly living

[gruber]

the references are awesome

References

1. Frankenstein. 1931. Directed by James Whale. Universal Studios.
2. Newport, F. In U.S. 46% Hold Creationist View of Human Origins. Gallup Politics. Posted on gallup.com June 1, 2012, accessed on June 14, 2012.

[Bolero]

I'm a glass-half-full kinda gal. I would see this monumental fucktardery as a good thing, because anyone with an ounce of intelligence and/or education who considers themselves a Biblical literalist would have to take a step or two back and say "Whoa whoa whoa, now I understand that radioactive dating is flawed, and that the 2nd Law of Thermodynamics proves beyond a doubt that there is a God, and I've read enough on creationism dot com to get how geology was caused by the Flood....but dangit, I know plants are alive."

Even my die-hard creationist ex-hubby would have to look at something like this and have a good hard think.