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Thread: The Joys of Catholicism!

  1. #11
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    Default Re: The Joys of Catholicism!

    The Roman Catholic Church likes to make sure that indoctrination is passed on from generation to generation.

    My grandmother was the religious matriarch in my family and all her many children were indoctrinated into the faith.
    A visit to her house required me to first dip my fingers in a holy water font which was placed just inside the front door. After dipping my fingers, I must then make "the sign of the cross".

    Shortly afterwards, I was required to take a drink from an algae coated bottle of "holy water!"
    "Drink it!," my grandmother would command, and when I hesitated she would say, "it won't hurt you, it's been blessed by the Bishop".

    Before I left to return home, she would invariably drape some religious medal, scapula or other religious symbol around my neck.

    When, at the age of eighteen, I entered the Royal Air Force, I was removed from my religious environment and found people who were prepared to respond rationally to my uncertainties and religious doubt. I began reading secular philosophers and found to my delight that there were people who were prepared to challenge the teachings of the church. One of my main influences at that time was H.L. Mencken. I still have on my library shelf a first edition copy of his wonderful book "Treatise on the Gods". Published in 1930 by Alfred. A. Knopf.

    On my discharge from the armed forces, I asserted my maturity and abandoned the habit of attending church on sunday. A "mortal sin" which, I was told, would result in God consigning me to torment in the fires of Hell for all Eternity.

    My grandmother was appalled when she found out that I was not carrying out my religious duties! She then contacted the parish priest and asked him to pay me a visit.
    The priest's name was "Father Moriarty", and as was commonly the case, he was an Irishman. I knew him well, because apart from saying "mass" at the church, he was a regular visitor to local houses in his constant search for financial donations.

    I recall one occasion when my mother, who was a widow and struggling financially, asked me to hide against a wall in our kitchen so that Father Moriarty, who was knocking on the door, would not be able to see us and know that we were at home.

    Anyway, Father Moriarty, at the behest of my grandmother, called to "bring me back into the fold", which was an appropriate term, related as it is, to the management of sheep.
    "Hello Michael", or "Moichel", he said, on entering the house. (I'm sorry I can't find a text in an Irish accent so you must do your best to conjure up the dialect.) "And whoy haven't ye been goin' to church lately?" I think he just expected me to give him some lame excuse, then agree to return to church on the following Sunday.

    However, he was very surprised when I told him that my faith had deserted me and the only thing I could think of when kneeling in church was the fact that my knees were hurting.

    When he realised that I was not going to be coerced or bullied "back into the fold", he turned on my Mother and accused her of not doing her duty as a Catholic and letting her son drift from the faith. I then told him that if he couldn't be polite to my Mother he could leave. He promptly rose and announced that he had 'No wish to remain in this house of sin". My mother was very upset by the turn of events.

    He must have reported the situation to my grandmother and it wasn't long before she turned up at our door in a very truculent mood.
    "Where's that lad!", she said, "he's getting too big for his boots!"
    She was used to being obeyed by family members and found it difficult to accept when I told her, "I'm sorry, grandma, I don't want to hurt you but I'm not going to be a hypocrite and go to church when I don't believe any more".

    Interestingly, when my grandma finally accepted that I was my own man and would not follow her demands, we seemed to form a better relationship based on mutual respect.

    Goodness, I intended this response to be very brief but I seem to have got on a roll!
    So, if you have managed to read this far, please accept my thanks and in the words of Father Moriarty, "here endeth the lesson".
    Last edited by Phroso; 9th August 2013 at 11:46 PM.

  2. #12
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    Default Re: The Joys of Catholicism!

    Quote Phroso said View Post
    So, if you have managed to read this far, please accept my thanks and in the words of Father Moriarty, "here endeth the lesson".
    No, thank-you - I enjoyed reading it.

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  3. #13
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    Default Re: The Joys of Catholicism!

    Being raised strict fundamental Baptist we were taught that Wine was for the unbelievers, that no real christian would ever drink any strong drink. I remember asking why wine was ok for Jesus to turn water into but not for christians to drink. I received the wise old adage that the wine back then was somehow different than the wine of today, that it wasn't an alcoholic wine. I just shut up and drank the grape juice!

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    Quote ANOMALY said View Post
    Being raised strict fundamental Baptist we were taught that Wine was for the unbelievers, that no real christian would ever drink any strong drink. I remember asking why wine was ok for Jesus to turn water into but not for christians to drink. I received the wise old adage that the wine back then was somehow different than the wine of today, that it wasn't an alcoholic wine. I just shut up and drank the grape juice!
    Wasn't alcoholic ha ha ha ha! they will try any distortion or outright lie on the poor gullible buggers in the flock.
    So Noah drunk on wine flashes his giblets and Ham gets cursed going on to become the cause of Canaanite phobia and Lot after the destruction of Sodom gets pissed and impregnates both his daughters. Thats just in the first book
    Glad you made it out if that shit
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    Quote AUSloth said View Post
    Wasn't alcoholic ha ha ha ha! they will try any distortion or outright lie on the poor gullible buggers in the flock.
    So Noah drunk on wine flashes his giblets and Ham gets cursed going on to become the cause of Canaanite phobia and Lot after the destruction of Sodom gets pissed and impregnates both his daughters. Thats just in the first book
    Glad you made it out if that shit
    Perhaps a small point of correction here AUSloth. According to my Buybull Ham does not get cursed for the heinous crime of looking at his dad's love tackle, his son Canaan does. One of the sillier parts of a book full of silly stuff.
    Out of the Earth we came, and back go we,
    As does the Turnip; so it seems to me
    The Pumpkin as our distant relative
    Has equal claim to immortality.

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    Default Re: The Joys of Catholicism!

    @Phroso: it was not too long. I couldn't stop reading

    I think that people who bully to get their way is extremely juvenile. While reading, I was half expecting you to say your grandmother got on her back and threw a tantrum!
    God sounds worse than Satan. If God does exist, he is a cruel crybaby with a penchant for burnt sacrifices and eternal torment. "It's your choice, but if you don't want to worship ME, I'm sending you to hell!! Bwahahahahaha!!!!"

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    Quote Sten said View Post
    Perhaps a small point of correction here AUSloth. According to my Buybull Ham does not get cursed for the heinous crime of looking at his dad's love tackle, his son Canaan does. One of the sillier parts of a book full of silly stuff.
    Heh! True, I guess it just adds to the insanity when a son is cursed for the acts of the father. Multigenerational atonement for the "sins" of others being another vile theme of catholocism.
    "Here kitty, kitty, kitty ..." Erwin Schrodinger

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    Default Re: The Joys of Catholicism!

    Strangely enough, I never worried about these things, in contrast to bureaucracy, meeting quotas, etc., at work, and worries over debt and so forth.

  9. #19
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    Default Re: The Joys of Catholicism!

    Quote ralfy said View Post
    Strangely enough, I never worried about these things, in contrast to bureaucracy, meeting quotas, etc., at work, and worries over debt and so forth.
    Hi Ralfy. This is a thread about Catholicism, so it seemed like a good place to discuss the obvious contradictions involved in being a catholic.

    If you are a catholic, I would have to question your priorities - meeting quotas (please explain - you object to the amount of meetings you have to go to? Or you're a bigot of some type?) is more important than the detail of your eternal life? If you believe you have an eternal life then the 80 years or so you spend on earth look pretty insignificant in comparison.

    Debt is a concern? It is for a lot of people - only I might suggest the types of problems a lot of Australians are focused on: mortgage's on our own homes - payments on the new cars, or buying that new iPad - are pretty fucking trivial compared to the percentage of the planets population who would like to get through today without dying.
    Last edited by odd; 21st August 2013 at 09:56 AM.

    '[They] agreed that it was neither possible nor necessary to educate people who never questioned anything.' ― Joseph Heller, Catch-22

    'While on the other hand, dachshunds are always out of their depth.' - Cyclist

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  10. #20
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    Default Re: The Joys of Catholicism!

    Quote odd said View Post
    Hi Ralfy. This is a thread about Catholicism, so it seemed like a good place to discuss the obvious contradictions involved in being a catholic.

    If you are a catholic, I would have to question your priorities - meeting quotas (please explain - you object to the amount of meetings you have to go to? Or you're a bigot of some type?) is more important than the detail of your eternal life? If you believe you have an eternal life then the 80 years or so you spend on earth look pretty insignificant in comparison.

    Debt is a concern? It is for a lot of people - only I might suggest the types of problems a lot of Australians are focused on: mortgage's on our own homes - payments on the new cars, or buying that new iPad - are pretty fucking trivial compared to the percentage of the planets population who would like to get through today without dying.
    By quotas, I mean quotas for sales and marketing at work; you know, the "rat race," competition in free market capitalism, performance reports and evaluations, together with consumer spending to follow fads or keep up with the latest video games, movies, pop songs, TV shows, etc., not to mention fees, penalties, and other forms of punishment for late payments, violating laws amid growing bureaucracy and complexities in accounting, legal matters, and so forth.

    And these are concerns of the middle class, i.e., those who make up only around 15 pct of the world's population and can afford to buy houses, new cars, gadgets like iPads, and so on. For most of the world's population, the situation is not as good, as most earn only around $2 a day and lack access to one basic need or another.

    This gives new perspective to our views of Catholicism, i.e., we are not attracted to the "control" imposed by such, and yet similar forms of control are seen outside the same, in a secular world where money (which are essentially promissory notes) is seen as wealth, where amid ideas of democracy, individual rights, and freedom, we see hierarchies based on organizations, laws and loopholes, organized violence, etc.

    And strangely, enough, just as Catholicism is weakened among the affluent, it is likely stronger among the poor.

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