View Full Version : Can anyone help?
6th May 2009, 05:25 AM
I have a young daughter (24) who has some anxiety issues concerning death. She is seeking some professional help but does anyone know of any specific book that could be of assistance with generalised or death specific anxiety?
6th May 2009, 07:38 AM
My 22 year old friend is the same. She has so much anxiety and fear of death that she is religious just in case (not saying the later is true in your case). And really freaks out about it. I'm probably not the best friend I just tell her to deal with it we are all going to die.
The problem is, most books written about 'death' are almost always from a spiritual side. Offen telling readers to prepare to surrender your body and etc.
I have a healthy fear of death too, but I don't let it conflict with my life. So I'd also be interested to see any books anyone else has read.
6th May 2009, 08:25 AM
hmm... sorry, everyword that comes out of my mouth is about budism, cause its the only thing that I know. :p
Maybe she can read up on budhism, but skip on the part of rebirth and karma.
The thing is that no one can see beyond death. We are afraid of the unknown, this is why people are worried and seek religion.
The main thing is that, we live because we want to live. We must realise that there is nothing wrong with not existing.
In fact this is what budhist strive so hard for.
If we live an honest life, the best we can, and oops there really is a god. Then any kind god would know we've done our best, and we will be accepted in heaven nonetheless.
If on the other hand God is actually wicked then what the heck, makes no difference what we do.
p.s. if your trying budhism go for the ones that comes straight from india. It is less diluted with local believes.
6th May 2009, 08:32 AM
When I was younger, I used to have anxiety attacks, these dissappeared over time.
The way I dealt with them, was to realise what they were, what my body/mind was doing and why, and approaching 'training' myself to deal with the concepts.
The only way out of this stuff is to understand what you have, and deal with it directly.
http://www.teacherneedhelp.com/anxiety/ has some good info on a quick search, but I am sure there is more out there.
I would approach it like any other anxiety.
6th May 2009, 10:57 AM
Thanatophobia is a real disorder and treatable.
You may find the links below helpful--There's a lot of available information on line.
6th May 2009, 11:38 AM
"Preparing For Death: Just as learning to read prepared you for life, and getting a home prepared you for raising a new life, there is something you can do to prepare for death. It isn't a religious ritual or scale-balancing activity...there's no way we can balance our own scales. We prepare for death by establishing a relationship with our Maker. Fortunately, He did all the heavy lifting so all we have to do is accept Him. If you want to begin this relationship, go to Help From God (http://www.way2hope.org/hlpgd.htm).
I don't think so ... we prepare for death in coming to terms with the fact that we won't be aware of it anyway, the ultimate release.
Being scared of death is natural, however when an anxiety, it should be treated as such. The first step is the person coming to grips that their level of fear is irrational, and working on that irrationality with awareness.
7th May 2009, 06:04 AM
My daughter is fairly rational and is seeking some help. I think it may have been the loss of her mother which was a particulary bad death. She is a very generally anxious person, bit of a worrier. It is not only dying she is also has some other odd kind of anxieties but the dying one is the main game right now.
I wondered if it might be best if I don't actually talk about "dying" but focus more on making her feel secure. Maybe just to much is happening in her head at once.
7th May 2009, 08:26 AM
I'm sorry to hear that.
Yes I think the best is to let her know that she is loved and that people are there for her.
7th May 2009, 12:24 PM
Did I link to a theist site? Oh dear,mea culpa. Is my face red! :o
Ray,I'm really sorry.I should have read more of it.
7th May 2009, 05:53 PM
I have a 22 year old daughter that is full of life and happiness, for which I am eternally grateful. I cannot imagine finding myself in the reverse situation. Perhaps I am not the best person to comment, but I do have a few thoughts.
I am sorry, I don't know of any publications that may help. I think that the written word may only do so much with these types of problems, because logic, reasoning and information may only have so much of an affect on someone with an anxiety issue.
Maybe a shift of focus may be a better option. For what it is worth, I find it hard to be sad or deep in sombre thought when out with friends and having fun. Shifting the focus from internal looking to something light and mixing with people always seems to be a good approach in my social networks. For deeper rooted problems, it is not an answer in itself, but it should not be underestimated. It is a good starting point.
I have always had the attitude that I could easily be dead at any time. Tumour, accident, even shot by terrorists (well, I do like to travel) no one is safe. It is not scary, it is accepting of the fact and shifting focus slightly. I see it as a motivation, to live life and enjoy every day. Even after 911, I was on the planes saying I would rather be in a plane crash doing what I love than die in my sleep living a nothing life. Now I am 50 and some friends have been falling off the branches for more than a few years now, it seems a better attitude than ever before.
Show her your love and the rest will flow from there on. Saying it in words has a very powerful effect. Yes, it is corny stuff, but it is true. Especially for daughters.
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