My old English teacher has just rolled over in her grave...

[youngmoigle]

Aoccdrnig to rscheearch at an Elingsh uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, olny taht the frist and lsat ltteres are at the rghit pcleas. The rset can be a toatl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae we do not raed ervey lteter by ilstef, but the wrod as a wlohe.

[SchizoDeluxe]

yeah old trick, I remember seeing this as a kid. Only works if you can read though :D

[youngmoigle]

yeah old trick, I remember seeing this as a kid. Only works if you can read though :D

Ummm...Errrm...Ummm...Oh yeah, that's right...I posted it for the youngsters who haven't seen it before.

[Seamus]

Ummm...Errrm...Ummm...Oh yeah, that's right...I posted it for the youngsters who haven't seen it before.

Umm, why? What part of " it only works if you can read" didn't you understand?:p.

[youngmoigle]

Umm, why? What part of " it only works if you can read" didn't you understand?:p.

I was hoping that if I kept on talking you would forget that bit

[eclectic]

Aoccdrnig to rscheearch at an Elingsh uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, olny taht the frist and lsat ltteres are at the rghit pcleas. The rset can be a toatl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae we do not raed ervey lteter by ilstef, but the wrod as a wlohe.

yeah, i like it. :) may not be so readable if you have dyslexia? (I don't know much about dyslexia, feel free to educate me further)

[youngmoigle]

It makes me actually nauseous to read it. My inner proofreader wishes to burn the abomination!


You must hate this new SMS language "i no i do lol"

[Seamus]

You must hate this new SMS language "i no i do lol"


If he does he's not alone.

To my horror,I discovered when working in welfare, (1974 to 1999) that in the area in which I worked full 25% of the adult population was functionally illiterate*. I suspect that figure has gone up with SMS.


It was only 10 years ago that the modestly bright 12 year old daughter of a friend explained the word "youse" to me (my words):
"Youse: Irregular personal pronoun,used to refer to two or more people"I suppose the Aussie equivalent of "all y'all":p


Actually I have a visceral hatred of the loud use of cell phones in public places.One hears the stultifying details of some dropkick's boring little life,described with a medley of the current mindless cliches and buzz words.I often feel a strong urge set fire the clothing of such individuals.They'd be busy trying to put out the fire while l stomped on their cellphone.

My feelings towards 4x4's being driven in the city are less charitable.

PS: In case you're wondering: I'm neither a grumpy old man nor a curmudgeon.I'm a fully fledged reprobate.;)







*able to read most street signs, but unable to read the editorial of "The Advertiser" which has a reading age of 12.

[davo]

Genesis 1

Boreded Ceiling Cat makinkgz Urf n stuffs

1 Oh hai. In teh beginnin Ceiling Cat maded teh skiez An da Urfs, but he did not eated dem.
2 Da Urfs no had shapez An haded dark face, An Ceiling Cat rode invisible bike over teh waterz.
3 At start, no has lyte. An Ceiling Cat sayz, i can haz lite? An lite wuz.
4 An Ceiling Cat sawed teh lite, to seez stuffs, An splitted teh lite from dark but taht wuz ok cuz kittehs can see in teh dark An not tripz over nethin.
5 An Ceiling Cat sayed light Day An dark no Day. It were FURST!!!1
6 An Ceiling Cat sayed, im in ur waterz makin a ceiling. But he no yet make a ur. An he maded a hole in teh Ceiling.
7 An Ceiling Cat doed teh skiez with waterz down An waterz up. It happen.
8 An Ceiling Cat sayed, i can has teh firmmint wich iz funny bibel naim 4 ceiling, so wuz teh twoth day.
9 An Ceiling Cat gotted all teh waterz in ur base, An Ceiling Cat hadz dry placez cuz kittehs DO NOT WANT get wet.
10 An Ceiling Cat called no waterz urth and waters oshun. Iz good.
11 An Ceiling Cat sayed, DO WANT grass! so tehr wuz seedz An stufs, An fruitzors An vegbatels. An a Corm. It happen.
12 An Ceiling Cat sawed that weedz ish good, so, letz there be weedz.
13 An so teh threeth day jazzhands.
14 An Ceiling Cat sayed, i can has lightz in the skiez for splittin day An no day.
15 It happen, lights everwear, like christmass, srsly.
16 An Ceiling Cat doeth two grate lightz, teh most big for day, teh other for no day.
17 An Ceiling Cat screw tehm on skiez, with big nails An stuff, to lite teh Urfs.
18 An tehy rulez day An night. Ceiling Cat sawed. Iz good.
19 An so teh furth day w00t.
20 An Ceiling Cat sayed, waterz bring me phishes, An burds, so kittehs can eat dem. But Ceiling Cat no eated dem.
21 An Ceiling Cat maed big fishies An see monstrs, which wuz like big cows, except they no mood, An other stuffs dat mooves, An Ceiling Cat sawed iz good.
22 An Ceiling Cat sed O hai, make bebehs kthx. An dont worry i wont watch u secksy, i not that kynd uf kitteh.
23 An so teh...fith day. Ceiling Cat taek a wile 2 cawnt.
24 An Ceiling Cat sayed, i can has MOAR living stuff, mooes, An creepie tings, An otehr aminals. It happen so tehre.
25 An Ceiling Cat doed moar living stuff, mooes, An creepies, An otehr animuls, An did not eated tehm.
26 An Ceiling Cat sayed, letz us do peeps like uz, becuz we ish teh qte, An let min p0wnz0r becuz tehy has can openers.
27 So Ceiling Cat createded teh peeps taht waz like him, can has can openers he maed tehm, min An womin wuz maeded, but he did not eated tehm.
28 An Ceiling Cat sed them O hai maek bebehs kthx, An p0wn teh waterz, no waterz An teh firmmint, An evry stufs.
29 An Ceiling Cat sayed, Beholdt, the Urfs, I has it, An I has not eated it.
30 For evry createded stufs tehre are the fuudz, to the burdies, teh creepiez, An teh mooes, so tehre. It happen. Iz good.
31 An Ceiling Cat sayed, Beholdt, teh good enouf for releaze as version 0.8a. kthxbai.

http://www.lolcatbible.com/images/5/5f/Cieling_cat_creates.jpg (http://www.lolcatbible.com)

[eclectic]

It was only 10 years ago that the modestly bright 12 year old daughter of a friend explained the word "youse" to me (my words):
"Youse: Irregular personal pronoun,used to refer to two or more people"I suppose the Aussie equivalent of "all y'all":p


I cringe at bad use of English, but my partner & I were thinking this particular word makes some sense. My Italian friends all use it, even though they know technically it's wrong, but they just can't help themselves - maybe because their first language is clever enough to include a word for multiple-you, not just rely on context.

[Vonnie]

"Youse" is my absolute pet hate. I can understand it coming from people of a non-English speaking background, but it's unacceptable to me that Aussies use it. I mean, my primary school kids know better.

Vonnie

PS: My second pet hate is "literally", as in "he literally laughed his head off". No, he figuratively laughed his head off. If he literally laughed it head off - apart from the fact that it's an impossibility - he'd be dead. Grrrr.

[GenericBox]

Lol its probably no surprise I always use the word you'se.. Its even funnier that its not even spelt the way it is extended...

Like it means 'you guys' right? (well thats how I use it :P)

So how do you get you'se from you guys...

Oh well.

Language evolves... Deal with it :P

[Kid]

Americanism...in writing...my pet hate.

'he dove into the water...' snarl... instead of 'dived into the water...'

'dove' is such a idiotic word to my ears.
or snuck instead of sneaked...

and 'ass' for backside, what's wrong with good old English 'arse'?
An ass is a donkey of some kind and you shouldn't be coveting it.
I hate ass
but love arse.
:D

[eclectic]

figuratively [/I]laughed his head off. If he literally laughed it head off - apart from the fact that it's an impossibility - he'd be dead. Grrrr.

lol. I have noticed that creeping into speech too.

[eclectic]

and 'ass' for backside, what's wrong with good old English 'arse'?
An ass is a donkey of some kind and you shouldn't be coveting it.
I hate ass
but love arse.
:D

"I want my neighbour's ass, 'cause my neighbour has, a real nice ass..."
tim minchin

[youngmoigle]

Americanism...in writing...my pet hate.


And American accents creeping into our schools as well. The latest ring tone is no longer awesome, it's ars-em.

But the dope smokers are the worst. They start out as young Australians saying things like, "G'day mate, Owergoin'", but as soon as they've had choof, they turn into Americans: "Hey man, like what's happening?"

[eclectic]

Lol its probably no surprise I always use the word you'se.. Its even funnier that its not even spelt the way it is extended...

Like it means 'you guys' right? (well thats how I use it :P)

So how do you get you'se from you guys...

Oh well.

Language evolves... Deal with it :P

But I AM surprised! I knew I disagreed with you politically, but I imagined you were a well-spoken young liberal. I am saddened to learn otherwise. :)

I haven't seen it spelt like that... if it is short for 'you guys', why do my Italian friends say "youse guys"?

Clinging to correct English is one of my few old-fashioned sentimentalities. We may be able to communicate primitive meaning via grunts (like, she was like, urgh, and i was like uh?, she's just so like, yeah, know what i mean? - verbatim of a conversation I heard the other day) and sms language, but not beautifully.

[GenericBox]

But again, its evolving. It's not that we are forgetting old english. We are just creating new quicker ways to say old things.

[two dogs]

But again, its evolving. It's not that we are forgetting old english. We are just creating new quicker ways to say old things.
Well, if quickness is the goal, let's get rid of superfluous words and phrases such as "Look", "You know", "I mean" (I recently heard Molly Meldrum start a response to a question with all of those strung together).

Don't get me started on "Yeah, no .....".

[GenericBox]

I've had many great conversations about 'Yeah, No'.

I use it at work all the time (Newsagency), only because it covers your bases...

We get some really old folk come in to waste their money on gambling and they will mumble out a nice little story that you had no hope of hearing... But they look at you waiting for a response.

So.... "Oh Yeah, No - I know what you mean"

They can then interpret if I agreed or disagreed with them themselves...

lol.

Works everytime,

Yanowatameen?

[eclectic]

of course correct english gets forgotten though. (i say in all lower-case...)

[davo]

I found when going overseas the 'yea, nah .. <speil> ' is something every aussie does :) well most of them :)

[GenericBox]

I did an assignment on speech back in Strategic Speech Communication and its funny its only really Australian's who do it... And for all the other faults at speaking and the english language, Americans are the 2nd slowest speakers (which makes them easier to listen to), Canadians are technically the worlds best speakers. They speak slowly, articulate words well, and have greater variation in pitch and tone. Personally, it is one of the reason American (and Canadian) film works so much better than ours. Its all in the voices. Again, personally, I hate the sound of Australian voices. Can not stand it. The same with "Southern" English. Like those in English movies or television shows. Just cannot stand it.

But give me a Canadian or American and I can listen to them for hours...

[GenericBox]

We had to analyse speeches by Hillary Clinton (in the presidential race), Martin Luther King Jr, and then Kevin Rudd and some other old Australian Prime Minister who I forget the name (This was a whole year ago :P ). We do not fair well besides these speakers. Perhaps thats why they can produce such inspirational speeches compared to us. But my lecturer said in the end what people "like" to listen to and which accents / speech patterns affect people most will differ from person to person.

[two dogs]

I found when going overseas the 'yea, nah .. <speil> ' is something every aussie does :) well most of them :)

Argumentum ad populum.:)

[davo]

I'm the other way round, US american voices grate on me

[davo]

Argumentum ad populum.:)

I am not making an argument on it however ;) I am stating opinion, but yes, you are right ;)

[davo]

I am not making an argument on it however ;) I am stating opinion, but yes, you are right ;)

I hope someone sees that above comment for what it is ;) a contradiction ;)

[two dogs]

..
But my lecturer said in the end what people "like" to listen to and which accents / speech patterns affect people most will differ from person to person.

Indeed. I really enjoy the sound of Portuguese (without understanding a word of it), particularly when sung, but also when spoken.

[eclectic]

But my lecturer said in the end what people "like" to listen to and which accents / speech patterns affect people most will differ from person to person.

yes, that makes sense, and must be the case, for I cannot stand most American voices... a Southern drawl can be sexy though... and I LOVE all british accents. I'm not a fan of Aussie accents either... I loved that I picked up an English accent when I lived in London and lost my unsophisticated twang.

[eclectic]

Indeed. I really enjoy the sound of Portuguese (without understanding a word of it), particularly when sung, but also when spoken.

I'm like Wanda in 'a fish called wanda' - all foreign languages get my juices flowing. I'm trying to convince future-hubby to get his act together and continue his Portuguese lessons.

[Kid]

Can't stand American voices, save for the New York accent. Not a fan of Aussie either; so nasal and can really grate. I love Scottish, Billy Connolly, I can listen to him forever, as well as love his comedy. Irish and Welsh are wonderful languages, hypnotic to listen to. Sigh...
French, Spanish, sigh...
German...no, don't like it.
My son's girlfriend is Russian and that's a wonderful accent to.
All my family are from London, and have East Enders accents like Russell Brand...the world is a rich place for languages...sigh...

[two dogs]

...for I cannot stand most American voices... a Southern drawl can be sexy though... and I LOVE all british accents. I'm not a fan of Aussie accents either... I loved that I picked up an English accent when I lived in London and lost my unsophisticated twang.

I don't think I have an aversion to any particular accent. I'm not so sure that one can so easily define what an American, or British, accent is. There is an extremely diverse range of accents in both countries, depending on which county, or state, one hails from. That is in stark contrast to Australia, where the accent is mostly homogeneous, although there appears to be a shift in vowel pronunciation towards the "received pronunciation" of the american TV series.

[eclectic]

I don't think I have an aversion to any particular accent. I'm not so sure that one can so easily define what an American, or British, accent is. There is an extremely diverse range of accents in both countries, depending on which county, or state, one hails from. That is in stark contrast to Australia, where the accent is mostly homogeneous, although there appears to be a shift in vowel pronunciation towards the "received pronunciation" of the american TV series.

British accents are VASTLY different from one another, but I haven't come across one that I don't at least find sweet, if not deeply sexy. I don't think american accents have quite the same range, but certainly differences - but I haven't come acorss one that I really like. Aussie accents are certainly more alike, mostly the difference is just in intensity - eg. Perth accents tend to be far less 'Aussie', due to our isolation I suppose. People in the UK were very disappointed at my lack of Aussie accent.

Kiwi accents are cute.

[GenericBox]

Ugh, Kiwi accents are in the same boats as English and Australian for me... Far too quick. I love Irish/Welsh/Scottish accents. Unlike their English counterparts they speak slowly (mostly). I do not 'hate', but am tired of russian and german accents - But only because every single war game I've ever played (and I've played a few ;) ) always exagerates and over-uses it...

[eclectic]

Ugh, Kiwi accents are in the same boats as English and Australian for me... Far too quick. I love Irish/Welsh/Scottish accents. Unlike their English counterparts they speak slowly (mostly). I do not 'hate', but am tired of russian and german accents - But only because every single war game I've ever played (and I've played a few ;) ) always exagerates and over-uses it...

The Scottish people I spoke to in Scotland spoke super-quick... couldn't understand a word they said! But who cares, I was too in love with their lyrical voices to care. mmm :)

[davo]

Ugh, Kiwi accents are in the same boats as English and Australian for me... Far too quick. I love Irish/Welsh/Scottish accents. Unlike their English counterparts they speak slowly (mostly). I do not 'hate', but am tired of russian and german accents - But only because every single war game I've ever played (and I've played a few ;) ) always exagerates and over-uses it...

you are so backward GB. :P

[two dogs]

...
People in the UK were very disappointed at my lack of Aussie accent.
...

Yes, "our" accent has been irrevocably changed, by the influence of world media. You only have to listen to speeches from our politicians from 50 years ago, to hear that there has been a great decrease in nasality, and a pronounced shift in in vowel pronunciation.

[Seamus]

@kid

Indeed,like; "spit" for "spat" and "shit" for "shat"

They can't pronounce "aluminium",omitting a syllable,call the main course the "entree" and (horror) they even say "screwed " instead of "stuffed or "rooted".

Americans can't pronounce "Melbourne" or "Brisbane". I won't even start on "Keswick"or "Southark"!

:p

[two dogs]

I had trouble with Cockburn when I first came to Oz!

I hope you soon found something to soothe it.

[youngmoigle]

I was always glad that Hewson lost the unlosable election. We would have been the only country in the world with a leader who couldn't pronounce its name properly. He thought he lived in Aus-tray-ya.

[Seamus]

@ecelctic

Accent? What accent? WE don't have accents! Only foreigners have accents.;)

EG Dubya and his "ah'm proud to be a Merkin". I fell on the floor the first time I heard that;a 'merkin' is a pubic wig.

I love the sound and rythm of French and Italian,both of whic I speak a little. I don't find the tonal languages attactive, such as say mandarin and Vietnamese.

I find the English patois found in rap,bloody' orrible,and the same with chav-speak in England,as well as the iliterate "Mockney" spoken by Jamie Oliver.

I was snobbed twice only in London (nowhere esle in UK).Once by some stupid shop assistant in Selfridges, and once by a snooty maitre d' at a 2 star hotel in central London. .