"They" got my wife :(

[Gus]

Hi every one. My name is Gusztav /short : Gus , Im from hungary but live in australia since 1997.
The reason why Im registered here, because my wife became a 7th day adventist , and this makes me soo ,hmmmm angry, frustrated,sad etc.
English is my second language, so basically I dont feel my English good enough to argiung with Her in this topic, so I came here to learn and hopefully I can get some help with ideas, how I can make Her eyes open ....
Today I have some time, so I have a good look around, but I already feel a bit better , I think I came to the right place..

Sorry about my English, I never mean to be rough, but I know sometimes I sound like...

[wolty]

Hi Gus. It always makes me sad when I hear about relationship problems because of religion. Just remember to always be yourself and try not to let things get to you too much. Wishing you all the best.

[Sir Patrick Crocodile]

G'day Gus - How about asking your why she believes in this things?

Note that I think it is a good idea if you write it down. Sending emails and letters for example is much easier than verbal communication for me.

Now it seems you are quite proficient at typing English so try using that to your advantage. :)

[Worldslaziestbusker]

Hello Gus
I second Croc's assertion that your typed English is fine.
I am wary of writing down and sending stuff when I'm angry or upset with friends. Spoken words can be forgotten or their effect can erode with time, but a letter written and sent when angry can be re-read and brooded over.
I'd recommend writing down your ideas to get them well ordered and then trying to get the ideas out orally once you've prepared them.

When I've been determined that a letter was the only means to get my point across, I've sat on it overnight and re-read it in the morning. Sometimes I've sent the letter, sometimes I've edited it with a clear head and sent it and sometimes I've torn it up, relieved I never sent it.
Cheers
WLB

[Atrax Robustus]

Hi Gus.

Welcome to the forums.

Remember that we are all here whenever you feel the need to chat - even if you only need some likeminded people to listen and to share our thoughts.

AR

[Gus]

Thanks guys, Im back soon as I have time to explaine my situation further..
Thanks again, good luck

[deesl4e]

@ Gus.

Just curious. Are you an atheist ?
Anyway you have my sympathy.

[Caio]

Welcome aboard Gus, any questions you may have, just fire away and we will be more than happy to do our best to answer them. :D

[Gus]

@ Gus.

Just curious. Are you an atheist ?
Anyway you have my sympathy.

I never believed any "god".
I belive the evolution theory and I can accept the current explanation of the universe (start with the big-bumm)..
so I think, YES , I m atheist..
however, I been baptised around 1968 in the communinst hungary in a roman catholic church, but nobody asked me if I wanted it ( born 1966)

[Gus]

So a bit more information about my situation.
Im 43 years "old" (YAH) my wife 31, we have our first child , She is 20 months old.
We live together since 2003 never had any religion in our life, Wife was interested about after death life and reincarnation, card reading,(spiritualist in english??) but not on every day basis, I would say, if She got in the right companion, she had a go with it.
Her family are not religious, Her father actually a strong atheist..

3-4 montsh ago She got a phonecall from a "friend" who started to explaine to Her , how the Bible has everything in it, all the future happenings are predicted etc... We agreed back then: the girl gone nuts...
But the "nut" girl sent about 20Hrs brainwash DVDs with Walter Veith.. Im wasnt thinking we in danger to get in any religion, so after she watched 3-6 dvds, I joined after Her asking, but was already too late, my Wife was brainwashed already.. started to do the "sabbath thing" , started to smile "weird" , started to go to the church for service and "bible study" every saturday mornings..
We had couple pretty strong fight, how can She belive those stupid things, is just stupid beeing delusional etc, and mostly, no way I will let my doughter go near to any church, still She is not old enough to decide what is good or wrong for Her..

What I did/doing now, collecting informations from the net, mostly videos from Youtube, what are reflect my view of the world and our surroundings and my opinion about religion .. I could made Her to watch last night 3 of them, at least made Her to think...and run and find an answer on some creationist website.. :) :(


EDIT: the first 20hrs dvd was with David ASScherick not Walter Veith, sorry

[wolty]

What I did/doing now, collecting informations from the net, mostly videos from Youtube, what are reflect my view of the world and our surroundings and my opinion about religion .. I could made Her to watch last night 3 of them, at least made Her to think...and run and find an answer on some creationist website.. :) :(

Hope this helps. The more information the better I think for her. Maybe she will keep heading to creationship websites and you can keep countering with reality and she will eventually get back to you. I do think you need to be supportive as well.

Seems she was looking for something in the first place that led to the religious nutters, so just keep reminding her you are always there for her to talk.

[AWarGuy]

Hi Gus,
I know how you feel only me and my auntie are atheists...the rest are uniting/catholics in my family.

They dont go to church but my sister is extremely rude towards my beliefs AND this website in general!

So I know how you feel..

-Andrew

[Gus]

..... I do think you need to be supportive as well.

Seems she was looking for something in the first place that led to the religious nutters, so just keep reminding her you are always there for her to talk.

Yes , Im doing this, this was the reason why I told Her, I dont want more argument, better if we just keep watching each others dvds and understand each others views better so we dont make a fight from an argument..... Settle down a bit and have discussion later, watch dvds again etc...

"She was looking for something in the first place" ?? at the beginning I felt really guilty, I tought I left Her alone too much and She just got bored and find some "help" in religion, but She said is definitely not the case, She just "find god".. ( or Jesus,dont remember but she "find" one of them)

[atheist_angel]

Welcome Gus. :)

Sorry to hear about your situation. :(
Yeah, I would collect scandalous information off of the internet about the history of this religion.

There's plenty of it! :D

Also one could demonstrate how the Christianity is out of sync with Judaism, which is also a fraud.
There are so many options, and so many ways to debunk this religion and all religion...
I guess we would have to know about how she thinks, in order to know what might reach her.

You know her best. So I am guessing that you are on the right track so far.

[Annie]

Hi Gus! I think that Angel is right. Getting informed is the key. Good luck with it and congratulations for being pro-active in solving this problem.:)

[aethist200938]

Religion has a lot to answer for "forcing" upon innocent babies and children superstition and fantasy! So much for a human to have a "choice" to whether they want to christened or baptised and turned into a disciple of religion, god etc. It is considered normal to have a baby/child christened or baptised after birth.... Why? So they can brain-wash the child at an vunerable and weak? It's not right!

[Praxis]

Religion has a lot to answer for "forcing" upon innocent babies and children superstition and fantasy! So much for a human to have a "choice" to whether they want to christened or baptised and turned into a disciple of religion, god etc. It is considered normal to have a baby/child christened or baptised after birth.... Why? So they can brain-wash the child at an vunerable and weak? It's not right!
Hi and welcome to the forum. Perhaps you'd like to put an intro post of your own in this area so we can all get to know you a bit :)

[Gus]

Hi everyone, Im still around, but I have the busiest time of the year in my business so Im back after/artound chrismas.

Merry christmas for everybody till then..

[Atrax Robustus]

Good onya Gus!

Enjoy the festive season!

AR

[wolty]

Good to see you back Gus. Hope all is going well with you. What Atrax said, enjoy yourself and be happy.

[Annie]

Hey Gus! Glad to see you are still here. It'll be good to see you back when the silly season dies down.:)

[Fearless]

Hi Gus, tricky situation but as everyone else has said... feel free to pop in and talk about things whenever you need to.

My mother is also SDA and although I am on the thinking that she could have ended up in worse religions it still plays on my mind a bit. I have no intention on converting her if that is her will but she has every intention about converting me 'god willing' (sorry bit of a joke there!)

Every time she tries to slip in a convenient excuse I let her know it is not ok to push her fantasy on to me.

Anyway... a while back she wanted me to watch a video on something important to her which I did and all it seemed like was that I was at some boring sermon. After that was finished I thought I would play the same game and played a Richard Dawkins vid on our relationship to the chimps:

WBEtw7esmvg

You know what she said at the end of it, not really meaning to be insulting to me... "You would have to be an idiot to believe that!"
I snapped at her saying how dare she insult what I believe is true when I don't do the same to her (even though she knows I don't believe in god) she apologised after realising she was being a hypocrite but it demonstrated to me just how brainwashed people can be influenced by religion, and how completely irrational or confronting anything is outside of their comfort zone.

I wont bother playing any more vids to her because in my eyes she has made her choice as much as it frustrates me but that is her choice. All I can do is challenge her on the things that she says to me and to show her the counter argument... and like others have said, reading up on here, watching videos as you have done... understanding both sides of the argument will build up your own strength to deal with it and to counter it if the need arises...

Trying to take her belief away from her may have a negative result. Maybe best that you come to a mutual understanding between each other and hope that she doesn't go too far.

Those are my thoughts anyway.

Best of luck and please feel comfortable to talk things through.

[atheist_angel]

@Fearless: I think it might be more difficult when it's your partner...
Can you imagine if your partner 'became' devoutly religious; and 'desperately' wanted the same for you?

Some couples do get through it... but many don't. :(

[Fearless]

@Fearless: I think it might be more difficult when it's your partner...
Can you imagine if your partner 'became' devoutly religious; and 'desperately' wanted the same for you?

Some couples do get through it... but many don't. :(

Fair point... fortunately my wife flops between Agnostic and Atheist so I am hoping we should be right long term.

I would hate to think otherwise.

[Sir Patrick Crocodile]

@Fearless: I wonder if that is a transitional thing. Now I'm no normal, and I'm no woman, but I used to flipflop between deist and agnostic for a long time and eventually used to flipflop between agnostic and atheist and then eventually became full blown militant atheist. Kind of similar to how I shift up to high gears - go through 1 then 2 then 3 then 4 then 5 etcetera. The "transition" can be compared to the clunk made between shifts.