Devils advocate
14th November 2009, 11:55 AM
Hi all, and firstly thank you for your kind comments on my joining post.
After reading Crocodiles post on his struggle to freedom I would like to mention my story.
Good post by the way Crocodile!
So when I was younger I had a form of ADHD, though back in the 80's they didnt call it that. Anyway a specialist doctor from America was visiting my home town here in Australia, my mother helpless visited her about me and the doctor said that most likely cause of my disorder was all the colour and preservatives that are put into foods - after non drug treatment for a year I actually came out of the ADHD much better and with a much greater control of myself.
My primary schooling was at a Roman-Catholic school, mainly because they were the only ones able to handle me and give me special attention.
Man o man!!! My parents werent religious in anyway but needed me managed! I recall not following the bullshit that was taught in church though as I found the services to be boring as hell!
Bascially I had friends and they accepted me for who I was and thats all I needed.
After public high-school I joined the Navy, a free spirit that hadnt decided his own path yet. Well that turned out to be a disaster as the lifestyle was totally unhealthy and took its tool mentally and physically. The four year term became a prison sentence.
After leaving the Navy, my spirit crushed, I dabbled in maryjane for four years all the time becoming increasingly paranoid and depressed.
My flat mate, a much older guy thought that maybe if I followed a bit of Buddhism I might gain an awareness of my life.
So for those four years we talked mind crap and smoked MJ and meditated.
It wasnt till one night that the whole world turned on its head and I suffered my first psychotic episode.
I continued to suffer at the hands of my now diagnosed schizophrenia all the while really receiving no help from my Buddhist flatmate...I think his idea was, that it was my own karma and that I will get over it....So much for a sense of empathy with your fellow man!
My awareness of my mind did increase however, from meditation, though at the same time the three voices (that I still endure today) plauged me with a whole lot of religious thoughts and sayings that grew louder in my skull.
Looking for Nirvana I discoverd Hell and thats where I am today, much wiser for the experience but totally detesting religion in its forms.
Its funny to note that all that religious garbage, which in my mind is full of dogmuff and contradiction, even though I didnt whole-heartedly take it in has become my anti-muse.
Its like all that sh*t is toxic to the mind somehow?
Now I take a leaf from The Red Hot Chilli Peppers album "One hot minute" from the song "Shallow Be Thy Game".....
"To anyone who's listenin'
You are not born into sin
The guilt they try and give you
Puke it in the nearest bin"
After reading Crocodiles post on his struggle to freedom I would like to mention my story.
Good post by the way Crocodile!
So when I was younger I had a form of ADHD, though back in the 80's they didnt call it that. Anyway a specialist doctor from America was visiting my home town here in Australia, my mother helpless visited her about me and the doctor said that most likely cause of my disorder was all the colour and preservatives that are put into foods - after non drug treatment for a year I actually came out of the ADHD much better and with a much greater control of myself.
My primary schooling was at a Roman-Catholic school, mainly because they were the only ones able to handle me and give me special attention.
Man o man!!! My parents werent religious in anyway but needed me managed! I recall not following the bullshit that was taught in church though as I found the services to be boring as hell!
Bascially I had friends and they accepted me for who I was and thats all I needed.
After public high-school I joined the Navy, a free spirit that hadnt decided his own path yet. Well that turned out to be a disaster as the lifestyle was totally unhealthy and took its tool mentally and physically. The four year term became a prison sentence.
After leaving the Navy, my spirit crushed, I dabbled in maryjane for four years all the time becoming increasingly paranoid and depressed.
My flat mate, a much older guy thought that maybe if I followed a bit of Buddhism I might gain an awareness of my life.
So for those four years we talked mind crap and smoked MJ and meditated.
It wasnt till one night that the whole world turned on its head and I suffered my first psychotic episode.
I continued to suffer at the hands of my now diagnosed schizophrenia all the while really receiving no help from my Buddhist flatmate...I think his idea was, that it was my own karma and that I will get over it....So much for a sense of empathy with your fellow man!
My awareness of my mind did increase however, from meditation, though at the same time the three voices (that I still endure today) plauged me with a whole lot of religious thoughts and sayings that grew louder in my skull.
Looking for Nirvana I discoverd Hell and thats where I am today, much wiser for the experience but totally detesting religion in its forms.
Its funny to note that all that religious garbage, which in my mind is full of dogmuff and contradiction, even though I didnt whole-heartedly take it in has become my anti-muse.
Its like all that sh*t is toxic to the mind somehow?
Now I take a leaf from The Red Hot Chilli Peppers album "One hot minute" from the song "Shallow Be Thy Game".....
"To anyone who's listenin'
You are not born into sin
The guilt they try and give you
Puke it in the nearest bin"