Why do I see christians telling me what atheists believe???

[Sir Patrick Crocodile]

This is a summary of what I percieve from the speech of a Christian attempting to prove God and the Bible and all that. Gnyaggghhhh.Gnyaggghhh! gnyagggghhhh! I'm just a gnyaggghhh troll who wants to, gnyahahahahaha! post random quotes from the Bible in order to... gnyaggghhhhaahhhahahahahhahaha prove how...err...gnyagggghhhahahha! peaceful religion is...gnyahhhahahahahah!

First of all, gnyagggghhhhhyaggghhhh, we know how peaceful the LORD is because his son is clearly schizophrenic gnyaggghhhh!And Cain talked with Abel his brother: and it came to pass, when they were in the field, that Cain rose up against Abel his brother, and slew him.I know this has nothing to with what I said because I'm just a troll you know...gnyaggghhyaggghhhhh!
And Lamech took unto him two wives: the name of the one was Adah, and the name of the other Zillah.God allows certain biblical characters to commit adultery which is against one of the Ten Commandments, gnyagghhhh! That means he's truly a good god because he's BADASS and gnyaggghhhhh!
And Adam knew his wife again; and she bare a son, and called his name Seth: For God, said she, hath appointed me another seed instead of Abel, whom Cain slew.You see God even made Eve give birth to Seth Green - We know it was Seth Green because grass is green and I'm pretty damn sure they didn't understand what a bed was back then. Therefore Seth must have been born in the grass - Seth was born in green grass so it must have been Seth Green gnyaggghhhhh.
And to Seth, to him also there was born a son; and he called his name Enos: then began men to call upon the name of the LORD.Oh yeah apparently Seth Green gave birth to Enos Green - because 'E knows Green for sure mate! Gnyagggghhhhh - and Seth Green back then didn't exactly have a wife so well it must have been God because gnyaggghhhhh.For yet seven days, and I will cause it to rain upon the earth forty days and forty nights; and every living substance that I have made will I destroy from off the face of the earth.That's the Words from God right there. See - I told you he was badass - like that sexy old Ivan Milat character you know but even more badass this time. Gnyagh. And all flesh died that moved upon the earth, both of fowl, and of cattle, and of beast, and of every creeping thing that creepeth upon the earth, and every man:
All in whose nostrils was the breath of life, of all that was in the dry land, died.Now who's your god bitch? Gnyagghhh.And Jacob did so, and fulfilled her week: and he gave him Rachel his daughter to wife also.
And Laban gave to Rachel his daughter Bilhah his handmaid to be her maid.Bilhah - what a cool name - only found in the Bible clearly proving the existence of a God gnyagghhh!For God so loved the world, that He gave His only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in Him should not perish, but have everlasting life. Gnyaggghhhh.You see - if everyone and every animal believed in God then we wouldn't need cold environments to gnyagghhh store them because they would no longer be "perishable goods" gnyagghhhyaggghhhh.

[Sir Patrick Crocodile]

Another thing I hear from Christians gnyagghhh as well as other religious folk a lot is Gnyagghhh - atheist worship the devil - I know this because I'm right and everyone who is not a insert religion here is wrong because the insert associated religious book here is right and everyone else is wrong because of the above evidence. Gnyaggghhhh.

[TÐöer]

Did the unholy spirit inspired you? ;)

[atheist_angel]

Have you ever noticed that in some translations of the Q ur’an, there are footnotes by scholars that explain how the verse should be interpreted and that sometimes the interpretation isn't consistent with the way the verse is written, but actually seems to contradict it? That's why I never got into it. It wasn't worth my time to learn Arabic just to figure out if this was a deception, or if something just wasn't coming through in the translation.

X-tianity on the other hand was full of deceptive interpretations. The whole NewT has been completely butchered and misrepresented by con men. Not to mention the dodgy way the cannon was assembled, in the first place.

[wearestardust]

Have you ever noticed that in some
X-tianity on the other hand was full of deceptive interpretations. The whole NewT has been completely butchered and misrepresented by con men. Not to mention the dodgy way the cannon was assembled, in the first place.

[Irish accent] Clearly you're an ex-separated brethren athiest then. You'll not be questioning the inclusion of the deuterocanonicals by the holy mother church, will you now?.[/Irish accent]

Russell was right. There are Catholic atheists and Protestant athiests.

Edit: [Irish accent] and don't go telling me you're Jewish and were referring to the OT. That's just cheating, now.[/Irish accent]

[Sir Patrick Crocodile]

Did the unholy spirit inspired you? ;)Actually I had a little chat with one of the Cut & Paste Specialists on this island ;)Have you ever noticed that in some translations of the Q ur’an, there are footnotes by scholars that explain how the verse should be interpreted and that sometimes the interpretation isn't consistent with the way the verse is written, but actually seems to contradict it? That's why I never got into it. It wasn't worth my time to learn Arabic just to figure out if this was a deception, or if something just wasn't coming through in the translation.

X-tianity on the other hand was full of deceptive interpretations. The whole NewT has been completely butchered and misrepresented by con men. Not to mention the dodgy way the cannon was assembled, in the first place.Yes - and it is absolutely ridiculous.

[Sir Patrick Crocodile]

This is the true word of God.Gnyagghhh

[atheist_angel]

http://www.miraclesofthequran.com/images/baslik_bilimsel.gif (http://www.miraclesofthequran.com/scientific_index.html)
THE EARTH’S GRAVITATIONAL FORCE
Did we not make the earth a receptacle? (Surat al-Mursalat, 25)
The Arabic word “kifatan,” translated as “receptacle” in the above verse, means “living things being gathered together and protected in their dwellings, places where living or inanimate things are gathered together; on which things are piled; place where things are collected.” “Kifatan” comes from root word “kafata,” which means “to collect, gather toward one, close embrace.”
With its gravitational force, the earth pulls the human beings and everything else on it, living or inanimate, toward its center. It is very likely that the use of a verb meaning “to pull toward one” refers to this force of gravity. (Allah knows the truth.)
It is thanks to the force of gravity that pulls the animals, plants, human beings and everything else on earth toward itself, that people are able to walk on the ground, stay where they are without flying off into the air, and orbit the earth without flying off into space, and that the rain is able to fall.
Sir Isaac Newton, regarded as one of the greatest scientists ever, investigated this feature of the earth and and made one of the greatest scientific discoveries of all time by speaking of gravity in his book Philosophiae Naturalis Principia Mathematica (The Mathematical Principles of Natural Philosophy), first published in 1687. The Latin word "attraere" Newton used in discussing gravity also means “to attract, bring together.” The reference in the Qur’an to one of the earth’s four great forces, only described in the 17th century, is just one of the proofs that the Qur’an was sent down from the presence of Allah.
:mad: IMAO! What the BFH is this?!

[TÐöer]

@Croc: That, sir, is t-shirt material!

With reference to God; I want 1 in gray! :D

[Sir Patrick Crocodile]

:mad: IMAO! What the BFH is this?!I am not sure about the "living things protected in their dwellings" bit - sounds like the Quran doesn't know about robberies ;)

[Twizzle]

I place my vote for this as the most entertaining forum on 'teh interwebz' :D

[atheist_angel]

Thank you. You can blame us Aspergians for that. We're strange. :cool:

[atheist_angel]

:rolleyes: Jesus Shark Prayer LINK (http://jesusshark.com/)
Our Jesus Shark
Who art in the Water
Hallowed be Thy teeth.
Thy dinner come
Thy will be done
On Earth, as it is in the Ocean.
Bite us this day
As we are your bread.
And follow our scent trail
As we welcome Your biting love.
And lead us into Your welcoming jaws
But chew us swiftly and with much vigor.
For Thine is the Arm, and the Leg, and the meaty Torso for ever and ever.
AmenWe have a lot of work ahead............................................! :mad:
http://www.skepticalmonkey.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/06/jesus_darwin_fish.png

[TÐöer]

Haha! Excellent poetry.

Just wondering if this is the ascii symbol for jesus fish <>< what's the accepted symbol for darwin's fish?

[atheist_angel]

Another great hymn, Black! And now more from the gospel of atheism. Some atheists on yt are saying,
"We are Atheist Maggots! We strip away the old to make room for the new."
c( ,)( ,)( ,)( ,)( ,)( °w°) The maggot symbol didn't seem to catch on too well.

[Sir Patrick Crocodile]

:rolleyes: Jesus Shark Prayer LINK (http://jesusshark.com/)
We have a lot of work ahead............................................! :mad:
http://www.skepticalmonkey.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/06/jesus_darwin_fish.pngCouldn't we seek help from the Pastafarians? They seem like nice guys.

[TÐöer]

Another great hymn, Black! And now more from the gospel of atheism. Some atheists on yt are saying,
"We are Atheist Maggots! We strip away the old to make room for the new."
c( ,)( ,)( ,)( ,)( ,)( °w°) The maggot symbol didn't seem to catch on too well.

YT = You Tube ?

Taking out the old to make room for the new, is a good trait. Maggots are now used in medicine, to remove dead flesh, so the wound can be properly treated.

Isn't that good?

In this case, the dead flesh is religion, the new is reason.

Here are some symbols I came up with.



<gg>< <jj><

<><
/\
<><
"
<><
||

<><
``
><>
. LL

,,
<gg><
/\

Any other ideas?

[atheist_angel]

<darwin><

[Sir Patrick Crocodile]

=><yellow submarine>(>
It's the flow of fire that counts.

[atheist_angel]

Did you call shenanigans? :cool:

Hope it was you! :)

[Sir Patrick Crocodile]

What is a shenanigan?

[c2009]

What is a shenanigan?

Basically, general BS and/or dodgy dealings. Interestingly, googling for a definition doesn't come up with anything but band and recording names, but it's definitely the accepted meaning of the word, at least here.

[atheist_angel]

Someone should 'call shenanigans' on this!
http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/2/26/StJohnInUmmayad.jpg/180px-StJohnInUmmayad.jpg Maybe it will help with your Q ur'an arguments.
I don't know, all I can tell you is, I don't think it's the real head of John the Baptist. LINK (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/John_the_Baptist)
Highlights of inconsistencies.

Islamic view: Main article: Yahya ibn Zakariyya John the Baptist is known as Yahya in Arabic and in the Qur'an. The Qur'an, in the sura Maryam, identifies John as the son of Zachariah and maternal cousin of Jesus. It relates an account similar to that of the Gospel of Luke, including the barrenness of Zachariah's unnamed wife and his doubts, though Zachariah is not described as actually mute but only that the sign of the coming of John was that he would not speak for three nights. John, whose tidings are foretold by the angels, is exhorted to hold fast to the Scripture and was given wisdom by God while still a child. (Surah 19:7-12). He is described as "pure", "devout", "dutiful towards his parents" and as "not arrogant or rebellious" (Surah 19:7-15) and is called "a Prophet of the Righteous" coming "to confirm a word from Allah". (Surah 3:39)

Mandaean view: John the Baptist plays a large part in some Mandaean writings, especially those dating from the Islamic period. Mandaeans highly revere him and may possibly have some remote connection with his original disciples. They believe John the Baptist, called Yahya in the Sidra d-Yahia ("Book of John"), was the last and greatest of the prophets. While Mandaeans agree that he baptized Jesus (Issa), they reject the latter as either a saviour or prophet. They view John as the only true Messiah. According to the text of the Ginza Rba, John died at the hand of an angel. The angel appeared as a three-year-old child, coming to John for baptism. John knew the angel for what it was, and that once he touched its hand, he would die immediately. John performed the baptism anyway, and died in the process. Afterward, the angel covered John's body with mud.

Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints: According to The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, latter-day revelation confirms the biblical account and also makes known additional events in the ministry of John the Baptist. According to this belief, revelation reveals that John was "ordained by an angel," when he was 8 days of age, to overthrow the kingdom of the Jews and to prepare a people for the Lord. They also claim that he was baptized while yet in his childhood.The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints teaches thatJohn the Baptist appeared on the banks of the Susquehanna River, as a resurrected being, to Joseph Smith, Jr. and Oliver Cowdery on 15 May 1829, and ordained them to the Aaronic priesthood. They also believe John's ministry was foretold by two prophets whose teachings are included in the Book of Mormon: Lehi and his son, Nephi (Book of Mormon 1 Nephi 11:27; Nephi 31:4-18).

Unification church: The Unification Church teaches that God intended that John help Jesus during his public ministry in Judea. In particular, John should have done everything in his power to persuade the Jewish people that Jesus was the Messiah. He was to become Jesus' greatest disciple. John's failure to do so was the chief obstacle to the fulfillment of Jesus' mission.

[atheist_angel]

Has this kind of thing ever happened here?

Christian Blogger Fakes Atheism http://killtheafterlife.blogspot.com/2006/08/christian-blogger-fakes-atheism-to.html

[Sir Patrick Crocodile]

Has this kind of thing ever happened here?

Christian Blogger Fakes Atheism http://killtheafterlife.blogspot.com/2006/08/christian-blogger-fakes-atheism-to.htmlYou wouldn't miss it if it did - the impersonator would easily give it away without fail. An atheist posing as a Christian however...