Hello and help! seeking advice on brethren NZ custody case

[polo]

Hello, Im an irish Atheist looking for any help or advice for my bro in Nelson currently self-defending in a custody battle against his ex and her brethren lawyers. Having won custody in May when ex admitted in court to striking my two nephews on several occasions, 'chastisement' was recommended by her pastor (who has called my bro demonic:he is a catholic/has exposed the lads to unbrethren influences like bouncy castles or whatever), he took the boys off for two weeks to Queenstown to recover and on return was served with court papers accusing HIM of child cruelty (this from an ex who went to court two years ago to change custody so she could have weekends off as she has a new brethren partner). Having spent 10,000bucks on the first case he is now forced to self defend. He has been denied contact with the boys for 3 weeks now and is being railroaded thru the courts by (highly)church-paid QC who has had the may ruling overturned, not by disproving the chastisement issue but on a claim of bad lawyer representation. He tried to deal with it himself, mainly an effort to not worry our mum (the classic dotting granny but who is seriously ill) but we family members all recently got a dodgy email from the ex which seems like a lawyer-written fishing expedition for some 'evidence' to present and thats how we found out. From 70% custody to zero is killing him, my nephews are seriously upset by this sudden wrench from their dad and cant understand whats happening and from what im finding out in my research to help him, he seems to be in ground zero of exclusive brethren in NZ. I know these fuckers have form so im reaching out in the hope that someone here has some help or advice as time is running out. Maybe someone knows a sympathetic lawyer who has dealt with these god-fearing but hardly child-caring fanatics. Is there any groups you know of that might have advice? His MP nick Smith has successfully fought them successfully on a similar case in 2003 but his party and he himself seem 'ok' with them now so does anyone have any recent news/advice on that route that might be helpful???? This is a real urgent request for any help you might be able to give,

[Praxis]

Hi Polo,

Terrible situation. The EB are a slimy bunch.

I'll see if Michael Bachelard, a journalist who has written a book about the EB and has lectured about it and rescues from cults might be able to offer you some advice. He's a member here and I follow him on Twitter so I will put out a message to him and hopefully he'll drop by and have something to say.

You're a good brother, helping out like this and I wish your brother all the best, and of course, the kids. Hang in there.

[davo]

Not sure what I can add, really it comes down to legalese fighting in court and backing by money goes a long way :( I don't know of any lawyers that work in this area, and not familiar with NZ law ..

[mbachelard]

Hi.
The best way to try to deal with this is to fight back with lawyers. Of course, this is not a certain route, in fact, with the Exclusive Brethren it's anything but.
I can try to contact some of the people I speak to in NZ, but they've really only got anything to do with the Taylor-Hales Brethren, the so-called Exclusive Brethren. If your brother is Catholic, then it would be highly unusual for him to have been allowed to marry an Exclusive Brethren woman.
Are you sure it's not one of their offshoots?
Either way I'll see if I can find if there's a lawyer who does pro bono work in religious cases such as this.
Michael

[mbachelard]

Just heard back from my contact in NZ.
Apparently it's hard to find a lawyer prepared to do this kind of work pro bono across the ditch. He has actively tried recently, with an ad in the lawyer's weekly or whatever it's called.
He also is not aware of any of these cases in the Taylor-Hales Exclusive Brethren, which suggests, as I suspected, it might be in a different group.
I'm not sure how much more I can help.
Any AFA forum members in the legal business in NZ?

[polo]

Hi Polo,

Terrible situation. The EB are a slimy bunch.

I'll see if Michael Bachelard, a journalist who has written a book about the EB and has lectured about it and rescues from cults might be able to offer you some advice. He's a member here and I follow him on Twitter so I will put out a message to him and hopefully he'll drop by and have something to say.

You're a good brother, helping out like this and I wish your brother all the best, and of course, the kids. Hang in there.


many thanks Praxis, all help most appreciated and i see ive had 2 messages from MB so off to a good start! Thanks again

[wolty]

Polo, just wondering if a current affairs show may help. They love to sensationalise things but it may get a foot in the door so to speak.

[polo]

Hi.
The best way to try to deal with this is to fight back with lawyers. Of course, this is not a certain route, in fact, with the Exclusive Brethren it's anything but.
I can try to contact some of the people I speak to in NZ, but they've really only got anything to do with the Taylor-Hales Brethren, the so-called Exclusive Brethren. If your brother is Catholic, then it would be highly unusual for him to have been allowed to marry an Exclusive Brethren woman.
Are you sure it's not one of their offshoots?
Either way I'll see if I can find if there's a lawyer who does pro bono work in religious cases such as this.
Michael


Many thanks for the 2 most helpful replies. They married outside of NZ, where they first met, a whole period she now considers sinful etc etc. They had a small 'blessing'/friends ceremony on their return for family and i went and the whole ceremony was almost cancelled as the dad adamantly wouldnt set foot in a catholic church even though it wasnt a service per se.

My own personal take on which EB cult shes in is that she was a lukewarm member, not so her parents and pastor (the latter advised her that 'chastisement of kids was biblically ok and that my brother is demonic...which sound very Taylor-Hayes to me). So it may be the pastor who is THayes. Over the last few years after their seperation she has become anything but lukewarm: objections to their schooling, a disturbing explanation of 'hell' to the boys after the recent death of my father, TV, grandmothers gifts etc.

I wish i knew more about which group she was with, i am on rather a crash course about them myself (ordered you book off amazon!) in an effort to help. Its just nuts the whole situation, that after being found guilty of slapping (sorry 'chastizing') the kids and my brother getting almost total custody that it can be so rapidly turned around, not on evidence to the contrary but on an argument of 'bad legal advice'!!?? and in just 2 weeks to lose custody and in turn be accused of child cruelty. But after sitting thru an hour long speech from her parents on my last visit to NZ with my mum, (biting my lip!), about how my mother was truly blessed to have been able to manifest her godliness etc through the 10 years of caring for my dad who had parkinsons disease, nothing surprises me about these people anymore.

Again many many thanks for the words and help, its really appreciated.

[polo]

Polo, just wondering if a current affairs show may help. They love to sensationalise things but it may get a foot in the door so to speak.


Hi & thanks, i thought of that and contacting press but my bro wont go down that route as he fears it would cause more harm than good.. thanks though for taking the time to write....

[wolty]

Hi & thanks, i thought of that and contacting press but my bro wont go down that route as he fears it would cause more harm than good.. thanks though for taking the time to write....

No probs. I wish there was some way we could help. I am sure all here are feeling for you guys.

[Logic please]

@Polo: I can only suggest seeking the assistance of someone like Cult Counselling Australia (http://www.cultcounselling.org/index.html).

I'm not even sure if they will operate in New Zealand, but I'm hoping that with their contacts, they will be able to help you find a NZ-based organisation to assist.

I couldn't find a good lead on a NZ-based anti-cult organisation from my Google search.

EB's are pretty well-known for this sort of thing, unfortunately. I can only wish you good luck with it. :(