Humour

A fundamentalist preacher was taking a walk one day and happened upon a young girl who was playing with something in a cardboard box. When he got closer he could see that in the box was a litter of newborn kittens.
"What kind of kittens are those?" asked the preacher.
"Why, they're Christian kittens," replied the little girl.
The preacher walked on, pleased to see that the little girl had Jesus foremost in her heart.

A week later, the preacher was walking down the same street and saw the little girl again playing with the kittens.
"And how are your little Christian kittens doing today?" asked the man of God.
"Oh, they aren't Christian kittens, they're Atheist kittens," replied the girl.
"But...but... I thought you said last week that they were Christian kittens," sputtered the flabbergasted preacher.
"Oh, they were. But now their eyes are open."

What goes black - white, black - white, black - white?
A nun rollling down the hill.

What goes he he, ha ha?
The nun that pushed her.

In the Beginning, there was nothing - And God said "Let there be Light!"
And there was still nothing....but you could see it.

An atheist was walking through the woods.

"Wow! What majestic trees! What powerful rivers! What beautiful animals!" he said to himself.

As he was walking alongside the river, he heard a rustling in the bushes behind him. He turned to look. He saw a 7 ft. grizzly bear charge toward him. He ran as fast as he could up the path. He looked over his shoulder, and saw that the bear, was closing in on him.

He looked over his shoulder again and, the bear was even closer. His heart was pumping frantically and he tried to run even faster. He tripped and fell on the ground. He rolled over to pick himself up, but saw the bear right on top of him, reaching for him with his left paw to strike him. At that instant, the atheist cried out: "Oh my God!"

Time stopped, the bear froze, and the forest was silent. As a bright light shone upon the atheist, a voice came out of the sky:

"You deny My existence for all of these years, and you teach others that I don't exist, and even credit creation to a cosmic accident. Do you expect me to help you out of this predicament? Am I to count you as a believer ?"

The atheist looked directly into the light, "It would be hypocritical of me to suddenly ask you to treat me as a Christian now, " he said, "but perhaps, could you make the bear a Christian?"

"Very well." said the voice. The light went out, and the sounds of the forest resumed. And then the bear dropped his right paw, brought both paws together, bowed his head, and spoke:

"Lord, bless this food which I am about to receive and for which I am truly thankful".

Somebody once asked a Zen Master what happens after death.
He replied, "I don't know."
"But you're a Zen Master!"
"Yes, but I'm not a dead Zen Master."

from Muslim Comic Shazia Mirza

"America's Most Wanted is now being shown in Saudi Arabia.
Last week, a Muslim woman was caught shoplifting.
She was caught on Close Circuit TV.
Police are looking for a woman....with brown eyes."